Control what you say (or you will regret it) STOICISM

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[Music] do you know how important it is to keep your mouth shut do you have any idea how many people have ruined their own lives their own Futures their opportunities or their own dreams because they just didn’t know how to keep their mouth shut there are people who are too eager to be happy to reveal all their plans to share every detail of their life and then when things fail they don’t understand why it went wrong or those who in a moment of anger and frustration lose their temper and end up saying things they shouldn’t have the key to change lies in keeping your mouth shut Zeno of sidium the founder of stoicism said that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason we should listen twice as much as we speak and in today’s video we will explore the practices that allow you to grow in silence but first I must tell you that this video has reached you only because someone before you has subscribed to our Channel liked it and left a comment so do the same and do not break this chain learn to keep your mouth shut from the moment of our birth we are encouraged to express ourselves and our first words are celebrated by our parents or those who become our Guardians however we seldom learn in life that silence is also a powerful form of communication silence reveals a lot about you your intentions and your personality and shows respect towards people and the environment this can attract more attention than talking endlessly or trying to convince someone who does not want to listen when you talk too much especially without intent or Clarity you weaken your power and instead of creating an impression of authority of someone who dominates the subject you have the opposite effect and cause others to respect you less and devalue you when you swap the desire to speak for the desire desire to listen you become the key to your personal growth in our social relationships we can apply the stoic Virtues Of moderation and wisdom to improve and minimize many of our relationship problems consider the case of Carlos and Alex both salesmen with different approaches one talks while the other prefers to listen when a customer enters the store Carlos immediately serves him and offers discounts that the customer did not even ask for this means Carlos earns less commission often the customer didn’t even want a discount and was ready to buy but Carlos talks so much that he ends up causing the customer to give up on the purchase Alex on the other hand knows how to sell more and earn more he also serves customers quickly but he does it differently he listens more and speaks at the right time Alex asks smart questions to find out what the customer really needs in this way he can sell what the customer wants and close many deals as a Salesman the secret is to talk less and listen more to the customer’s desires listening more than talking not only benefits sales but can also be applied to other aspects of Our Lives a simple exercise you can think about today remember three things you have missed out on in life why you didn’t keep your mouth shut why you couldn’t stay quiet and couldn’t hold back just as someone has developed the habit of talking too much and becoming a compulsive talker how can they then develop the habit of learning to listen talk less stoicism teaches us self-development and mental training so we can listen twice as much as we talk for this to happen you must be aware that the more you talk the weaker you become the more you listen the stronger you become if Carlos for example practiced moderation he would not immediately offer discounts he would learn to wait a bit and see what the customer really wants before speaking mishon is like a remote control for our reactions it prompts us not to exagera not to talk too much and also not to act on impulse and wisdom is like a map showing us the best path to follow it helps us understand when and how we should act or speak Alex is already on this train he listens to the customer asks smart questions and then offers what the customer needs he uses wisdom to recognize the right time to speak a practical exercise that can help us talk less gain moderation and wisdom is anchoring anchoring is a powerful technique for creating and strengthening mental associations between external stimuli and internal reactions for example if a person is afraid of cockroaches just hearing the word cockroach puts them in fear and despair this is because they have created a feeling of horror through the word the same goes for positive things think of chocolate for instance if you like it your mouth is probably watering just thinking about it this can help us create mental associations that encourage silence start by choosing an anchor whether it’s a physical object like a bracelet or placing it on the background of your phone screen say less every time you pick up your phone or look at the bracelet you make a connection between the anchor and a feeling of Silence in this way you teach your brain to associate the stimulus with a state of calm and silence repeat this several times to get the hang of it then when you are in a conversation and feel the urge to talk too much use your reminder this will help you pause breathe and decide to listen instead of talk if you remember that silence is a powerful form of communication it can change the way you interact with others in addition to improving your listening you may find that your words carry more weight and impact when you do use them you will be surprised but the more you listen the more you can learn and truly connect with others always remember silence is your native language learn to master it do not tell of your plans sit here I’ll tell you about my project buddy I’ve almost decided to start this and that it’s not 100% confirmed but I’ll share it with you sharing your dreams and projects before making them a reality might seem like a way to seek support and motivation but in the end you’re shooting yourself in the foot what psychologists have found over time is that people who like to talk a lot about their plans before taking action are the ones who achieve their plans the least people who announce their plans to open their own business change their habits write a book or take a new job end up stuck in life for a long time without progressing or achieving what they mentioned because when we name our goals our brain releases a happiness hormone and we feel as good good as if we had actually achieved them this can decrease your motivation to really care about it and put it into action if you want to achieve your goals keep this information to yourself and worry about taking the first step towards achieving those goals moreover Marcus Aurelius one of the most famous Roman emperors and stoic philosophers warned us that we make the mistake of naivity when we trust someone without knowing beforehand if this person is trustworthy when we announce our plans sometimes even people who are unconscious can sabotage us they can criticize or discourage your ideas underestimate your abilities or even cruy point out all your flaws this often leads to us doubting ourselves and easily trading our plans and projects for the negative opinion of others understand that there is no way to grow anywhere in the world without being hated by those who are stuck when you keep silent people do not know what your next steps are and nobody sabotages something of which they do not know the existence senica stoic Statesman and philosopher wrote in his letters about friendship on how important it is to carefully choose to whom you entrust Your Dreams a true friend in his opinion is someone who sincerely wishes for your success and with whom you can share your plans without fear however not all people sometimes even the closest ones are like this therefore it is important not to fall into the mistake of naivity and learn to assess the character of those you can trust it’s wonderful to share when something good happens to us or when we make a dream come true but you must understand for whom and when you can do it your victories will speak for themselves when they are achieved and then everyone will know therefore choose to share your dreams only with those who truly support and encourage you to keep moving forward keep your opinion to yourself stoicism offers a valuable perspective perspective and teaches us to expand our vision beyond our own views and see life in different ways one of the most liberating lessons of stoicism is the ability to choose not to express our opinion to protect ourselves from the dictatorship of reaction we are often asked to express our opinion on topics happening on the internet with questions like who do you think will win Big Brother this year what do you think of the body of the artist who was displayed at the carnival what do you think of the most important time topic of the week stoicism teaches us a powerful alternative silence or the conscious decision not to form an opinion on these topics Emperor Marcus Aurelius reminds us in his meditations that every minute we spend caring about other people’s lives is one less minute we dedicate to our own life and our moral development this philosophy can be applied not only in superficial discussions but also in interactions with our closest Circle in other words every time you give an unsolicited opinion about your brother’s life the car your neighbor bought and which in your opinion should have chosen a different color or the way your nephew is polite every time we express our opinion on other people’s choices we experience a problem or a situation over which we have no control stoicism invites us to focus on our own lives and suggests that if we have extra time and energy we should use it to help others not harshly judge them this approach not only helps us maintain a richer more peaceful inner life but also teaches us to prioritize positive action over empty criticism thus fostering an environment of support and mutual growth when we realize that we can control our opinion we understand that we can control what we say practice the ability to think absolutely nothing about a certain situation and accept the freedom not to have to give an opinion on everything happening around you and not to be disturbed by these events as the words of Marcus Aurelius affirm we have the power to hold no opinion about something and not to let our peace of mind be disturbed because things do not have the natural power to form our judgments limit access to important people curious people seldom ask whether we want or need their opinion they simply express it they tend to say whatever comes to mind without much thought or consideration and when confronted they justify their behavior by claiming to be sinc sin and honest Victor Hugo a French poet and novelist once wrote know that openness does not consist of saying everything you think but in thinking everything you say being honest and open has nothing to do with disrespect therefore it is important to set clear boundaries in our relationships those who speak thoughtlessly often end up saying what they shouldn’t to whom they shouldn’t at inappropri times and places and most importantly about things they shouldn’t talk about passively waiting for someone to recognize and respect your personal boundaries without clearly communicating them can be an endless weight and may not work it is up to you to set these boundaries politely and respectfully epic tetus one of the great stoic philosophers gave wise advice perfectly applicable to situations like this when talking to a student who was having trouble because of his brother’s Behavior he advised him by saying everything has two hands handles one by which it can be carried and one by which it cannot this means there are things whose Behavior we cannot control but we can decide how we respond to this Behavior if someone interferes too much in your life or says things they shouldn’t you cannot control what they do but you can control how you react one approach could be to talk privately with the person to be sincere or candid and say that you did not like that that you do not accept this type of behavior because it affects the relationship between you and could lead to a distancing or the end of the Friendship this attitude not only helps protect your personal space but also teaches others to treat you with respect and consideration setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and a way to maintain healthier and more balanced relationships we must recognize that there is a limit we must endure and to that we remain faithful epicus also draws a comparison about smoke in a house which goes did someone make smoke in the house if he made a moderate amount of smoke I stay if it’s too much I leave and if you find yourself in such a situation it’s time to review this attitude and invest your time in your own development you don’t have to give satisfaction silence contains such deep wisdom that at times it is the best response sometimes we feel the need to explain ourselves whether it’s to seek acceptance to please others or to form a bond with them many problems in our life are actually caused by ourselves because we can’t keep our tongue in our mouth an example of this is Vanessa after a period of debts and financial problems she dedicated herself to learning about financial education managed to pay off her debts organized her finances and even started investing after a month of closure she spent time with her service staff and shared with her colleagues that she was finally financially stable and debt-free things began to change for her over time Vanessa realized she was being excluded from new projects her colleagues assumed she was better off financially and began to forward job offers that would have been suitable for her to someone else in other words the fact that Vanessa talked too much led to her losing several job opportunities thereby affecting her newly acquired Financial stability sometimes we want to show others how we live and we talk unrestrictedly about our financial life our intimate Life as a couple what happens between four walls we want to show the world how well and happy we are or the post because we are sad and dissatisfied without directly thinking about what consequences this will have for us epic tius said when you drink water don’t say to everything and everyone that you’re drinking water this means it’s not necessary to talk to others about everything we do in life the idea is that we should live simply and truthfully without the need for the approval or recognition of others in this sense epic tetus teaches us how important it is to keep some things to ourselves and not share every detail of Our Lives showing that discretion and keeping certain decisions private can be a way to strengthen our character you don’t always have to explain your actions sometimes silence is the best answer neither talking too little nor talking too much is Ideal Balance is key talking too little can close doors because people might think you’re not interested or involved on the other hand talking too much can Tire someone out and even lead to unwanted situations as in the case of Vanessa therefore it’s important to find the middle ground knowing when to speak and when to keep quiet balancing the desire to express yourself with the wisdom to keep certain things private helps us build healthy relationships and avoid unnecessary problems don’t speak when emotional there’s a less known story about Plato in which he faced with a situation that made him very angry realized he was so emotional that he couldn’t deal with the problem fairly so he asks his servant to resolve the issue this moment shows that even a great philosopher like Plato knew how important it is to control emotions to make proper decisions if you can’t control your silence you will be a slave to your words some people talk too much when they’re happy revealing plans that that should be kept until they’re realized or until there’s no chance of failure or they make promises and give their word on things they can’t keep others talk too much when they’re angry and in such moments most people can’t control their tongue and end up saying hurtful things understand a spoken word cannot be taken back and sometimes the wounds they cause are huge even in an argument it’s better to feel pity for the other side than to have them hurt if someone hurts you because expressing all your anger to hurt others won’t heal your wound it’ll only make it deeper if you keep quiet and listen it’s important to understand that this is a valuable time to absorb information and organize your thoughts before responding some experiences and feelings are meant to be processed internally and not expressed impulsively silence is a powerful tool it gives room to absorb information reflect on and organize thoughts before expressing them when you’re silent you can think more clearly without the distraction of the inner noise associated with the constant need to speak so when you choose silence in moments of strong emotions you gain time to assess the situation calmly and respond more thoughtfully and effectively do I really want to hurt someone I love will I be able to fulfill what I’m committing to emotions can be considered like a drug that impairs our ability to think both in negative and positive moments without self-control we wander completely altered by our emotions giving in to all our emotional impulses practicing silence gives us the opportunity to understand our own thoughts and feelings leading to Greater personal and spiritual growth growing in Silence with stoicism is a journey of self-improvement that teaches us the importance of keeping our mouth shut listening more and thinking thoroughly before acting I admit this is one of the most challenging stoic practices for me but the magnitude of the difficulty also reflects the magnitude of the benefit in our lives I’ve lost many things in life just because I didn’t know how to keep my mouth shut I sincerely hope that this message has been useful to you I want to congratulate you greatly for having come this far and for having finished the video that means that you want to improve as a person if you liked the video leave your comment you don’t know what to come comment comment I dare so I know you made it to the end if you are not yet subscribed to the channel what are you waiting for subscribe now and join us thank you for your attention until next time Warrior



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