First Minute Rule: How To Look Confident If You’re Quiet


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some people mistakenly think that to be charismatic you have to be loud and energetic all the time but that isn’t true so today you’ll learn seven tricks to be charismatic and make a great first impression even if you’re quiet we’ll do this by breaking down some clips of Chris Pine since he’s both soft-spoken and Incredibly likable the first thing to consider is what are the benefits of being loud that you may be missing out on if you’re quiet one is that it’s easier to grab attention in conversation especially in groups but there is another way you can do this active speaking sink hand gestures with your words watch this clip of Chris to see what this looks like it’s a high pitched fast-paced play so there’s no breaks no breaks no in our director Wisconsin no breaks no break then finally there’s a pause and then in this pause I’m looking at the woman that I’m in love with it and we’re gonna reconcile into this moment of tremendous drama and then from just this stage left you hear louder please good hand gestures aren’t random movements you want to Accent what you’re saying for a great example watch Chris talk about learning the Scottish accent for his movie Outlaw King I look at it like a record and you’re building grooves into the record so once you put the the note on the record your brain and your mouth because you’ve done it so many times just play the record purposefully using hand gestures also gives your hands something to do which naturally cuts down on nervous fidgeting making you look and feel more confident one other thing you’ll notice when Chris talks he smiles with his eyes and speaks through a smile which primes people to smile and laugh with you and then I got uh chased down the street by a large got chased on the street by a large man wearing a sock around his uh thank you so wait I was traveling shouting Captain Kirk smiling as you speak also naturally changes your vocal tone in a positive way so even if you’re just having a phone call you can make a better impression if you smile before you speak this is why salespeople have the phrase smile and dial notice in this next clip how the audience laughs when Chris starts to smile with his eyes and get more animated with his face what is it like to play a superhero’s boyfriend you don’t see that very much it’s great do you have powers none um absolutely done one thing today’s video will hopefully make clear just because someone speaks quietly doesn’t mean they’re boring just listen to Gal Gadot describe what it’s like to work with Chris that was the dynamic Dynamic right I I I’m being the serious one and then he makes fun of it and then she talks like goofy so it was pretty easy that playfulness is especially important in the first few minutes of your conversation because people have a heavy first impression bias they form their first opinions about you in the first minute or two and those first opinions can be very sticky so in Social settings try to be playful and fun in the first few minutes of meeting someone you don’t have to have a great stand-up comedy set to open a conversation any playfulness at all can help set a more positive tone all right I got my notes yeah you’re on it I’ve always wanted to do that if being playful seems intimidating you can also simply lead with a little more energy and enthusiasm [Applause] I got that I have this long hair now yeah you’re like a young Kenny Rogers it’s really uh many quiet people do the opposite of this they begin overly serious and low energy and by the time they start being playful in a conversation the other person has already made up their mind about them now while speaking through a smile and being playful help you leave a positive first impression the mirror of this is also true you can make people like you simply by being a likable listener who laughs easily you’ll make the other person feel good and they’ll enjoy speaking to you notice in this next clip how Chris can make co-star Gal Gadot laugh just by laughing himself the mysterian part was shot in Italy which was amazing and beautiful and tasty and I’m telling about it it’s a great adjective it was saltier compare that to this next clip of Chris where he doesn’t smile laugh or speak with his hands if this were the only clip you’d ever seen of Chris what would your impression of him be honor roll or detention Hall what do you think or detentional I think honor roll there it is Chris Pine do would you rather do an impression or teleject oh an impression going into the impression let’s get it out one important caveat here your goal is not to fake laugh the goal is to laugh freely whenever you do find something funny unfortunately many people unconsciously limit their laughter repressing it to a quick chuckle or even just an exhale the good is if you are someone who struggles to laugh is that laughing is a habit and it gets easier the more you do it so one trick if you want to laugh more easily watch something you know will make you laugh right before going out this will Prime you to be in a better State and to laugh more in conversation ultimately the goal is to be confident enough to show your genuine emotional reaction in Chris’s case he does not force himself to laugh with a group every time they laugh two new cast members so hilariously effortlessly we were terrified [Laughter] if Chris does find something funny he definitely lets it show summer break well actually something something we got into this with so much uh ambitious and I think the movie is okay hoping Chris wouldn’t have a reaction it shows confidence if you’re willing to show your genuine reaction even when it makes you stand out from the people around you there’s one more trick you can use to make people like you without you needing to do much talking ask energizing questions a question is energizing if it’s open-ended meaning not a one-word answer and about a topic that excites the other person this next clip is a great easy example Graham Norton asks Sally Fields a question about her Memoir that leaves her a little tongue-tied so Chris asks her question she’s more excited to answer there’s so many personal things in here and and I understand the urge to to figure it out in your head and to write it down but it is weird that then like yobs like me you can know it and you know people will read this and and know these things about you yeah yeah I bet that is what compelled you to write it while today’s video has hopefully shown you that you can be charismatic even if you’re quiet there are a few times when even the quietest person would benefit from being a bit louder one time this is helpful is in very loud environment settings like parties and another is when someone cuts you off when someone tries to speak over you it can be helpful to raise your voice to recapture attention but once you’ve recaptured attention you can return to your quieter more natural speaking voice for example listen to Chris talking to Jimmy Kimmel about the time a supposed fan confused him with multiple other celebrities it’s a weird one not quite but thank you for the rest of my life well at least he’s a handsome guy I know he said so then he said he stopped me he’s like Joey Lawrence I said no no thank you no uh he’s like come on man tell me tell me who are you who are you uh I was like Chris Evans Captain America now for everything in this video and everything related to Charisma in general knowing intellectually what to do is one thing having the confidence to go out and do it is another if you want the quickest way that I know of to take both your confidence and Charisma to the next level then you may like our program Chris University rather than tell you about the program myself here are a few things that our past members have said I had confidence in some areas but not in others then Chris University changed that for me it has helped me unlock the confidence that comes with knowing that I can go into any social situation and crush it another member wrote in I’ve always been bad at expressing myself in situations that weren’t one-on-one in conversation I find myself hesitant to speak or I’d get caught in my own head over thinking things after CU I am now way more confident in saying what I think I feel much happier all the time I was even able to talk to a woman I’ve had a crush on for about a year and made a great first impression overall I love this course and I keep going back to it when I need a refresher on The Daily action modules and lastly one member writes thank you so much for this program after going through Charisma University I’ve made more friends have higher self-esteem and can more easily talk to people I don’t know I’ve solidified my values and I know who I am the program comes with a 60-day money back guarantee so you can take the entire course and if you don’t think it’s worth every penny you can give yourself a full refund from right inside the program if you want to see if Chris University is right for you click the link on screen now or in the description below either way I hope you liked today’s video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one

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42 Comments

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  1. Cool! Practice makes for natural charisma I suppose. It’s hard when most people tend to be kind of shallow. If you aren’t as physically attractive as these celebrities people are so dismissive of your presence or they just look at you like your super weird.

  2. Definition:
    Charisma
    – active listening(present tense)
    (Closeup)
    – speak through smile
    (It's okay) laugh with the lover
    – priming(genuine)
    (What compelled you to ..)

    Appreciation fame fist πŸ‘Š 😊😁

  3. Key insights

    πŸ’¬ "Some people mistakenly think that to be charismatic you have to be loud and energetic all the time but that isn't true."

    πŸŽ₯ Incorporating pauses and moments of dramatic tension in your speech can create a powerful impact and captivate your audience.

    πŸ˜„ Smiling while speaking primes people to smile and laugh with you, making you more socially attractive.

    πŸ˜„ Playfulness is important in the first few minutes of a conversation to create a positive first impression and set a more positive tone.

    🎭 Being willing to show your genuine emotional reactions, even if they make you stand out, demonstrates confidence and can make you more socially attractive.

    πŸ’¬ Asking energizing questions can make people like you without you needing to do much talking.

    😊 One member of Chris University was able to overcome their hesitations and overthinking in conversations, leading to increased confidence in expressing their thoughts and even making a great first impression on someone they had a crush on.

  4. I love your material. I've been watching your martial for years, and now I make my preteen kids watch one video every week as a "Life Lessons" activity.

    I'm a machine mechanic at an Amazon warehouse, but more than that, I'm "that guy". My motto has always been "People are always more important than things." So, I'm the guy who gets to walks around and help people feel validated and loved. People will naturally open up to me and share family or personal secrets that they wouldn't share with anyone – even their spouses. While their managers are breathing down their necks to increase productivity, I build their self esteem, their self worth, their value, and confident, and then watch their performance rise from the background.

    While this has always been my superpower, your videos have helped me immensely, to be more effective in building morale and rapport. You cover such an array of topics, but I've noticed a shortage in one topic: How to comfort someone in distress.

    I often encounter many people who are going through rough patches (relative dies, hard breakups/divorces, home damage by disaster, recent physical ailments, parent with children going down the wrong path…). I wonder if you would make a couple videos addressing this. Often, i will just hold them, and cry with them, or just validate how difficult it must be to go through something like this. Sometimes, I'll share some thoughts, or angles that they night not have considered, "On one hand, I can see their perspective, but I get how this would be really frustrating…" or something like that.

    I wonder: Do you have some effective ways to share and validate sympathy, condolences, and empathy during difficult conversations?

  5. honestly it really depends on your looks. i've been ugly before, and my quietness was perceived as me being weird. however, now that i'm conventionally attractive, my quietness gets perceived as me being mysterious and intriguing.

  6. Ppl who touch your leg (knee) for any reason like a laugh or any excuse is definitely attract to u. It's insane ho some ppl are using any excuse to touch u like it's ok to do so.

  7. is there a video that's kind of similar to this but it's dakota johnson? She's super witty and funny but she isn't loud with a very extroverted personality like let's say jennifer lawrence and I wonder what kind of personality she has or what she does that people find her fun to be with or watch especially in interviews

  8. Yeah, hes also jacked. Celebrities are only useful in proving that money, status, confidence and physicality are crucial factors in attraction. At least in the very beginning. And I don't mean romantic attraction. I'm talking just person to person attraction in who you pay attention to more or listen to. Yeah,

  9. All the examples used in the clip are of highly attractive or highly successful celebrities who have a lot of other things going for them. These advice don't work nearly as well on your regular Joe.

  10. I have this hand gesture habit not from any of these viedos. it's natural for me and people around me think as it is not a good thing to do. my teacher even once scold me while I was doing these gestures while I speak. So, does this really work??????