Stop Trying To Impress Others


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actress millie bobby brown has a polarizing but effortless charm that has made her incredibly popular so in today’s video we’ll break down eight habits you can steal from millie that will help you immediately make people like you the first tip may seem counterintuitive but millie is at her most likable not when she’s trying to impress others when she is having a good time if you’ve ever been at a party or bar and found yourself looking at the people who seem to be having the best time you’ve felt the magnetic effect of having fun in millie’s case she’ll start water balloon fights do silly dances between takes or get people to play random games on set even when suffering through insanely spicy wings on hot ones millie continues to be goofy and have fun why did you do this to me i’m only 18. i’m only small you guys i’m telling you my my face doesn’t feel like my face i can’t hear my face right now i’m with you literally literally in addition to making you magnetic establishing yourself as playful and goofy also helps you tease people in a way that makes them like you more instead of hurting their feelings especially if you soften your teeth with a laugh for example watch millie tease jimmy fallon while playing a game about lying how many four four i know you are lying how cause you’re horrible at it the goal here isn’t to fake laugh it’s to focus on teases that are playful lighthearted and genuinely make you laugh setting a playful tone early is crucial for these if you don’t you can accidentally come off as rude for example watch earlier on that same hot ones episode when millie’s co-star noah surprises her on the show first notice that her lower energy makes it seem like she isn’t excited to see noah do we have a little surprise here to open things up for wing one we do have a surprise wow hello noah i’m glad to be here on the spot giving us a little assist here for wing one so is this this is the mild one yep she doesn’t smile when he comes in her tone is cold and she doesn’t look at him when he’s speaking because she doesn’t seem excited to see him the tease in this next clip is more likely to be perceived as hurtful even though she laughs through it i’m much better well they didn’t invite you i’m happy to be here it’s not spicy is it all right now go watch me kill this so while softening your teeth with a laugh is a great habit don’t underestimate the importance of setting a playful positive vibe beforehand if this was the only interaction you saw between noah and millie you might wonder why noah considers millie his best friend a big part of that is likely due to our third tip from today’s video mixing in compliments with your teases this makes you less predictable than if your only way of interacting with someone is by giving them a hard time and it makes people way more likely to laugh at your jokes than get offended here are a few quick examples with this context in mind it’s much easier to understand why noah would love millie that noah has always done so well has made me feel so comfortable so empowered and you know he is an amazing co-star to riff off of so many special effects and there’s air and there’s noises and the first take you guys got it and the reaction that you guys had was so beautiful if you playfully tease people and get seen as rude then this may be the part you’re missing when you tease someone they don’t just react to what’s happening in the moment they react to your overall relationship this is why you and someone else can say the exact same thing but they may get a big laugh and you may get a dirty look if you really want to charm the people around you pair your compliments with a warm platonic touch these brief moments of touch help build feelings of trust and connection i would describe you as as um relaxed yeah i’d say relax and i would describe you as charismatic a little spazz sometimes okay now let’s get into a few habits that will help specifically when you’re meeting new people some people struggle with early conversation when it isn’t obvious what you can connect on what if you can’t tell immediately what you have in common with the other person millie was in a particularly weird spot as an early teen celebrity a lot of her life was unrelatable to most people for example in this next clip with stephen colbert he asks a young millie about a photo of her crying on the last day of stranger things season 3. her response may rub people the wrong way especially because of the tone she uses and so when i had to say goodbye to my best friend sadie i just broke down also catering ugh that was a tough one catering yes catering duh like saying goodbye to the people who do catering yes saying goodbye to people who make my food i mean seriously being sad that your caterers are gone is a hard thing for most people to connect with in conversation but here’s what you may not realize you don’t have to have the same lifestyle and interest to connect with someone to bond with anyone just talk about yourself in a way that makes your life relatable to theirs here’s an example of millie doing it well she’s asked what it’s like to be so heavily scrutinized at a young age and she does a great job of relating it to what any other teen can go through you know i’m being watched by everyone and and basically every move i make is being watched by everyone but but actually it’s not that quite it’s not that different in any way i mean there’s teenagers out there that are evolving in themselves and they have to go to school every day and deal with whatever they’re dealing with or whatever they’re dealing with at home and so for me we all face the same complications so for example let’s say you have a hobby that most people don’t share in honor of stranger things we’ll use dnd as an example if you meet someone new who asks you what you do for fun and all you say is i love playing and d you will only connect with them if they also love playing d and d compare that to something like i love playing d d i have a weekly game with my friends and it’s a great way to make sure we all hang out at least once a week plus i’ve always loved fantasy so it’s fun to co-create the stories i loved growing up now even if they don’t like d they can relate to the fun of doing something with their friends or having something they love from their childhood this bleeds into the next habit as well which is hands down one of the most important habits if you want to make conversation with a new person flow more naturally see if you can guess what it is from this next clip somewhere that you got your american accent from watching hannah montana i did i did that is true yes absolutely really yeah because i i watched bugsy malone and godfather when i was like eight i love bugs yeah i love it you can make conversation easy for the other person by giving expansive answers this doesn’t have to be a super long monologue simply try to talk for 10 seconds longer than you normally would watch another example here where did you fly in from l.a you were for los angeles it was the craziest trip because our two flights these two flights had been mixed up and then she launches into a quick story from there imagine if she just said i flew in from la suddenly the pressure is back on jimmy to make the conversation flow especially when you’re first meeting someone conversation can feel stilted or forced when you answer small talk questions with short answers you contribute to that forced feeling because the other person has to work harder to come up with an interesting reply do you pick their outfits you do is that fun for you do you design outfits for them the flip side of this is you don’t want to dominate the whole conversation by doing all the talking you also want to turn the conversation back on the other person millie does this even in situations where the spotlight is meant to be on her like in interviews you’re doing great tell me about your life from illinois 75 years ago no kids no kids you don’t want kids not right now i’m mentally and emotionally younger than you so how is your wife i saw her my wife is absolutely lovely in every way i love her yeah making sure the other person gets to chime in helps make them feel valued similarly if you’re in a group conversation you can answer a question and then pivot to ask the same question to someone in the group who hasn’t spoken much but i also want to know what was it like like what was it like for you to do that like you you also have to deal with stuff in high school and then you also in season two dealt with the mind flare and everything like that like what do you think’s more difficult once you do get someone talking focus on being a likable listener it can be very powerful to make someone like you while they are the one speaking this point may surprise some of you since as a child millie got a rep for being a bad listener she would cut people off in conversation or zone out while someone else was speaking but she’s come a long way now she has three great traits you can steal as a listener that will make people really enjoy speaking with you first you want to give someone your full focus nothing feels worse than talking to someone only to have them look around like they’re searching for something more interesting watch how intently millie listens to noah here shifting her entire body as he begins to speak noah will start with you um yeah what can we expect from the season another way to make people feel good when you’re listening is with a big laugh if you’re funny or interesting people will like you but they’ll like you even more if you combine that with making them feel like they are funny or interesting too again the goal is not to be fake but to freely express it when you do feel it here’s a quick example gravity put it through a little john mayer and again you can see how this makes it so easy for her to tease noah and it seemed good-natured gravity okay that’s good that’s good i’m proud of you for that gravity the last tip we’ll touch on for being a likable listener if you do want to chime in on what someone else is saying use the agree and expand technique this makes them feel heard instead of cutting them off and steamrolling what they built you’re adding to it i think this season was really just like more emotional for me and just more like personal and that’s that’s tough that’s always tough yeah and it makes you actually sometimes more tired at the end of the day than it would if you’re physically giving yourself to the work it’s actually sometimes more true when you give yourself mentally the agree and expand technique is also a great way to handle when someone cuts you off agree with them so they feel heard then retake the conversational reigns so you can finish your thought now there’s a lot going on in this video and you may be wondering how the heck do you actually remember all of this when you’re out meeting new people especially if you’re speaking with someone who makes you nervous it’s hard to remember to put all this into practice that’s why we put together our program charisma university it’s a step-by-step 30-day program that tells you exactly what to do every day to take what you’re learning and turn it into an unthinking habit so by the end of 30 days you radiate confidence and charisma naturally without even thinking about it rather than tell you about the program myself here are a few things that past members have said i had confidence in some areas but not in others then charisma university changed that for me since beginning the program i have seen noticeable changes in my life it has helped me unlock the confidence that comes with knowing that i can go into any social situation and crush it another member wrote i’ve always been bad at expressing myself in situations that weren’t one-on-one in conversations i’d find myself hesitant to speak or i’d get caught in my own head overthinking things after cu i am now way more confident in saying what i think i feel much happier all the time i was even able to talk to a woman i’ve had a crush on for about a year and made a great first impression overall i love this course and i keep going back to it when i need a refresher on the daily action modules and lastly one member wrote thank you so much for this program after going through charisma university i’ve made more friends have higher self-esteem and can more easily talk to people i don’t know i’ve solidified my values and i know who i am the program is literally guaranteed to change your life that means you can take the entire course and if you don’t think it’s worth every penny you can give yourself a full refund from right inside the program if you want to see if charisma university is right for you click the link on screen now or in the description below either way i hope you enjoyed today’s video i really appreciate you taking the time to watch it and i hope to see you in the next one you

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31 Comments

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  1. Curious if theres a video on what to do when your in a convo with someone and others coming into the event stop your convo to say hi. How do you keep the person your talking to feeling focused on. – without ignoring those trying to say hi.

  2. Milly seems very fake. I work in industry and so many actors/actresses will "turn on" their persona's when around press, media, full set etc. Once you start working with them day in day out for months on end 12-15 hours a day you will find out who is over doing it for the sake of doing it vs genuine.

  3. Thanks for sharing, enjoying all your content. I think you may have been slightly off on one of your reads, at the four minute mark when you said it was hard to relate to her comment about the catering I don't think she was sad to lose out on the catering I think she is a nice person who got to know everybody on the set so she was sad because she was saying goodbye to the amazing people who made her awesome food. When ever people cook for celebrities they make it extra nice for some odd reason….

  4. The advice in this video seems spot on, but she still seemed extremely unlikable to me and felt fake. I don't know why I felt that way so I looked up more of her interviews to see if I was wrong or that she was just weird. Upon seeing more of her interviews and how she treats her co-stars, I understand why everyone finds her cold, rude and self-centered. It's because she is, lol. Good advice, wrong person to use as an example.

  5. I think this is one of your less good videos, and seems to be influenced by the American liking for an English accent. Most intelligent English guys would find this woman a self-entitled pain in the butt.

  6. Millie is such an incredible person, the people who hate on her are very clearly just jealous of her talent and beauty. She’s proven time and time again that she genuinely loves her fans, loves playing Eleven, and that she is one of the most talented young actresses out there right now.
    I love her so much, and she’s inspired me quite a bit.