4 Psychological Tricks That Make You Look Fearless


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tommy shelby was our most requested video ever so today we’re doing a breakdown that’s long overdue his friend of me alfie solomon it is lovely isn’t it that’s lovely while you don’t want to be like alfie in every way there are four habits you can learn from him to instantly command more respect from the people around you and even though peaky blinders is a scripted tv show all the psychology covered in today’s video will apply to your actual life let’s start with a quick scene from season three if you haven’t seen it alfie’s just sold tommy a list of buyers for a stolen item notice how alfie reacts when tommy freaks out i have to name him off the list duffy did i yeah there are only three men in britain whose wives are obsessed with faberge make some good customers alfie demonstrates one of the quickest ways you can command respect by being calm in situations where most people would show fear for a quick comparison watch how alfie and his right hand man each react after tommy claims he’s planted a grenade in their rum shop notice how their different reactions impact your impression of them i bet 100 one you’ll fly in my hollywood side jesus christ alfie tied his lace i saw him look he planted a grenade i know he did alfie tommy shelby you riding like a child definitely don’t model alfie’s violent tendencies like i said we don’t want to be like alfie in every way but being calm in high pressure situations is a quick way to command respect in your own life specifically during an argument a good rule of thumb for keeping your cool is to purposefully wait two to three seconds before responding this will help you look poised and give you time to react calmly watch alfie do it here you invite a tribe of savages into the city and just the gates i’m sorry what are you saying mate as a general rule we are more demanding of fast responses from ourselves than we are from others people tend to give themselves only 30 as much time to respond as they would give someone else so when you are in a stressful situation and it feels like you need to do something right now pause otherwise you risk looking frantic and out of control along with this comm demeanor there’s another habit in that scene that helps alfie appear confident which brings us to our second key habit alfie holds eye contact especially during conflict here’s another example you people all right you hunted my mum with dogs yeah a common mistake some people make when watching scenes like this is thinking that you should hold eye contact all the time but that’s not the takeaway if you hold and they hold it can create even more tension so the trick is to be purposeful with your eye contact during conflict break by looking down if your number one goal is to de-escalate hold if your number one goal is to show you aren’t intimidated and if you want to de-escalate without signaling fear or discomfort then hold eye contact for three to five seconds and then break to the side instead of down as an example watch how alfie responds after arthur shelby basically says yes i found religion but i will still kill you it’s a perfect example of how to de-escalate without seeding power i’m an old testament [Music] congratulations tommy you now have the finished article right aren’t you see that man right he will murder and maim for you with god on his side there’s another trick you can learn from alfie to command more respect with just your eyes alfie doesn’t let other people dictate where his attention goes a great example of this is when he meets luka changretta an italian mob boss with more money and more power than alfie luca goes in expecting alfie to defer to him but alfie is doing an exercise to better understand the blind and refuses to even open his eyes what time is it 29 minutes past date right well then i have i have another minute to go actually but you uh you can begin we saw the same principle in the previous scene where arthur was staring at alfie murderously and he chooses instead to speak to tommy this behavior has the effect of making people crave your attention because you are being selective with it for instance i have a friend who gives his undivided attention to whoever he’s speaking to if you try to interrupt he won’t turn to you until the person he was originally speaking with has finished what they’re saying it can feel a bit annoying in the moment when you’re being ignored but it feels great as the person that he’s speaking with and for both people it makes you value his attention because once you have it you have it fully and if you lose it you know you can’t just demand it back now body language isn’t the only way to show confidence for another option let’s go back to that opening scene where tommy’s deciding whether or not to kill alfie for betraying him but if you kill him now the truce with the london outfits will be run into pieces all right don’t worry about that truth kid right because it’s just it fell apart you’ve got nothing to worry about when it comes to the old scary louder boy alfie chooses here to be honest even when it goes against his best interests which immediately commands respect it’s not that he wants to die it’s that he doesn’t want to be spared for what he considers the wrong reasons what i do not want him to spare me because of some peace pact i want him to acknowledge that his anger is unjustified now in your own life you’re hopefully never in a situation where your life is at risk but there’s still a concrete lesson you can learn here for social situations don’t apologize just to avoid conflict that’s not to say don’t ever apologize if you’ve done something wrong it’s important to acknowledge it but if you aren’t sorry don’t say you are this is a very common mistake people make especially in dating and it may avoid a fight in the moment but it sets you up to get walked on later in the relationship the ability to be honest even when it goes against your best interests screams self-confidence you’re basically saying whatever the consequences of my honesty i know i’ll be okay of course the goal here isn’t to fake that you’re okay while you’re freaking out on the inside it’s to cultivate a genuinely strong deep internal confidence once you do that you’ll naturally command respect in situations where most people would panic or get nervous the tips in this video should instantly help you project confidence but building that strong internal confidence does take a bit more time if you want the fastest way i know of to build that unshakable confidence check out our program charisma university it’s a 30-day step-by-step blueprint for building more confidence and charisma within just a few weeks of joining we’ve had members transform their social and professional lives getting more friends more dates new jobs and promotions rather than tell you about the program myself let’s look at a few things that past cu members have written in this first one comes from a guy who transformed his confidence he says i wasn’t truly confident i was constantly seeking validation and cared too much about other people’s opinions but now my life has improved tremendously because of cu i find it way easier to connect with people to have great interactions and to be happy even if things don’t go the way i want them to taking this course has been one of the most impactful decisions of my life i can’t recommend it enough this next one is from a woman who works as a clinical psychologist she says i absolutely love the content and i’m happy to pay for the modules i’m a clinical psychologist looking for material that could help my clients who have social anxiety charlie’s material is exactly what i was looking for and this last one is from a guy who joined after a breakup he says i thought that after completing this course i’d become a smooth talker and be able to take over a room what i didn’t realize is i’d get that and feel so confident in myself i feel liberated thank you for creating this course if you want to join but you’re not sure if it’s right for you you should know it comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee that means you can get all of your money back for any reason at all it’s 60 days even though the course is only 30 days because we want to make sure that every single member truly feels like they’re getting massive value from the course if you want to learn more go ahead and click the link on screen now or below in the description either way i hope you enjoyed this video and i look forward to seeing you in the next one

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39 Comments

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  1. This isn't something you can master unless you are placed in real life, high stress situations. These are decent tips. But most people without experience will not have the desired effect. If you think I'm full of BS, I've dealt with thousands of mental health patients, drug addicts, violent folks in my career. You can train VDI/POSC or MOAB/DAAT, but inexperienced people tend to freeze in real life.

  2. Brings to mind 'fake it until you make it' except…
    If you try to fake it with the wrong antagonist you will be sorry you did so. To make it, you need to be a genuine killer, prepared to go all the way…

  3. Being judged as "weak" is a projection. If anyone see you as "weak" who cares?? As long as they don't cross you. When they cross you, then give it to them as fast and precise as you can. Don't let them recover- the rest will see it and fear you.

  4. a good way not to be seen as weak is not to appear on the front cover of GQ magazine wearing women's clothes and make up……isnt that right Cillian Murphy! I can't take his seriously now no matter how much I enjoyed peaky blinders

  5. I’ll remember this when confronted with an ice addict coming at me with a knife.
    Ok, hang on mate. *pause 3 seconds*. Ok, do I hold eye contact or not? Hmm, oh wait there buddy, just go to consult my notes. 😂

  6. Repetition is the finest teacher. By 'acting as if' you have confidence, you gradually become more confident. Find role models you respect and study them. Then adopt some traits you see working, but always remain yourself.Truth is, most confident people I ever met were faking it until they made it, because confidence comes and goes.It's not a sin to improve yourself, but it could be to settle for less than you deserve? Best advice is to cheerfully make mistakes until you make yourself a success. At one time, as a known top Salesman, I actually gave Seminars on my mistakes in Sales, which i couldn't have if i was perfect. That way, other people learned from my mistakes and paid me for making them. Nobody is what's on the tin, inside they are all just like you, human, and they all have confidence crises. And i do mean all, and don't you forget it…

  7. People who look only at the person which they're talking to, and ignoring any other person who also wants to participate in the conversation, are effing annoying. I know these kind of people and I respect them less.

    It depends on what one wants to gain with that behavior.

  8. The caveat of course is that this so-called psychology is based on scripted content – which is a nice ploy to engage the mark (the pigeon, the stooge, etc) but also makes it utter cow stuff. Ultimately follow the money. Confidence games need to get you to believe in “their method” so they can get at “your money.” Always. So, if these YouTube posts send you to a site to buy some 4-step “secret insider information” training, then give them fraudulent payment info and take their stuff – because they have no problem taking yours.

  9. I’ve had people try to intimidate me with eye contact, only to hold it for too long as you said. They just looked ridiculous, especially in the cases when it wasn’t even a serious matter.

  10. The trick is not simply convey confidence, you want to portray honest confidence. The 3 second rule only works if you are true in your purpose. If you are not, then you have lost all leverage.

  11. Where does Russell brand fit in here… lol t.v is t.v and Russell is smart and keeps control mostly yet seems like a yoga instructor more then an alpha. Im sure this will help some so credit given.