How To Avoid Being Socially Awkward


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and he gets rid of the microphone what this is fantastic it is okay great ai yeah i’m having vicarious embarrassment so we’ve all had moments in our life where we have been more awkward than we would like to be we’ve probably all had moments where we’ve surprised ourselves with how charming charismatic and confident we can be the question is how do we go from one to the other on command and i think that elon musk is a person who exemplifies the best of both worlds because there are times that i’ve seen him be incredibly stuttering stumbling and awkward in his presentations i’m just incredibly impressed with the the caliber of of talent at neurolink but there’s other times where he is genuinely charming it’s the fast way uh and the slow way okay um give me the give me the fast way the fast way is drop thermonuclear weapons over the poles you’re a super villain so i want to dive into some clips of him and discuss what you can learn about how to take those moments where you’re awkward and turn them into ones where you’re actually charming and charismatic so i think it’s useful to start with the moments in which elon is a little bit more awkward to find out what he might do differently and one of the most famous is his infamous podcast with joe rogan so let’s take a look what keeps you up at night well it’s quite hard to run companies yeah especially car companies i would say it’s quite challenging the car business is the hardest one of all the things you do yes because so i remember watching this before it is this is very difficult to get an engaging answer out of him and it reminds me the video that we did with kanye west on jimmy kimmel is that for you more rewarding than hearing people say they like your music both it’s both art yeah yeah but let’s continue here so obviously the first thing you see is a lack of enthusiasm and a very literal answering of the questions that joe is asking him in order for conversation to flow a little bit more comfortably you want to go beyond the question that someone is asking you add statements that don’t directly answer what they’re saying but give them a few more threads to pull from but let’s see where this goes same with tesla we’ve barely survived how close did you get to folding very close we uh for 2008 is not a good time to be a car company so what you see here is a incredible lack of eye contact from elon so he’s looking down in a way i’m not exactly sure what’s going on and one of the things that i think happens later in this interview is he lights up relaxes quite a bit this is why people drink when they go to bars i mean it’s legal right it’s totally legal okay but yeah you obviously want to try to make a little bit more consistent eye contact when you’re communicating with people and give some energy he’s not doing either of those things here so what do you do when everything goes wrong here’s the cyber truck the glass that can’t break oh armor god well maybe that was a little too hard [Laughter] see that’s that’s actually a fantastic initial save right there it didn’t go through as a plus side this is actually i haven’t i haven’t watched the whole clip he’s not doing bad sure oh man it didn’t go through all right not bad this is actually really good only thing that i would would have potentially critiqued here is his body language i mean walking around with on stage with crossed arms is a big no-no so what you want to do is when there’s something embarrassing that happens if you if you behave as if this is something that you need to speed through that the audience can’t linger on that they can’t laugh at it signals to the audience that you are very very uncomfortable with what just happened that if that it has profound impact on not just the quality of the car but the quality of you as a human being but when you can stand up there in the heat no matter you know if you stumble over something as you’re speaking or a slide gets screwed up and you can’t quickly get back on track actually something that you can do is exactly what he did which is crack and understate a joke be like well this could be going better than it is right now and the audience will immediately come to your side you’re inviting them in to acknowledge the uncomfortableness of that moment to let out a laugh and quite frankly uh i’m impressed by how well he he handled that right there oh i’ve seen this on youtube apparently i don’t like each other very much what are you supposed to say um just things about ai perhaps okay let’s see um he the fidgeting fidgeting is tough it is okay great ai yeah oh man i’m having i’m having vicarious embarrassment as he as he sort of stumbles here actually i’m told that does ai mean love it’s like there’s like a name ai it sort of sounds a bit like love yeah ai i hate the word a.i called artificial intelligence i call it alibaba intelligence yeah might might end up being true you never know um i think generally people um the problem that you see here is that he can’t just sit with not knowing what’s going on which is uh granted very difficult when you’re in front of a group of people a lot of fidgeting a lot of moving the feet the hands stopping and starting his sentences he’d be better off with a bit of silence and a bit of just building some sort of rapport and banter between him and jack ma so let’s see how he gets through it the capability capability of ai they sort of think like it’s a smart human but it’s it’s really much it’s going to be much more than that um he’ll be much smarter than the smartest human okay and he’s in as i’m watching some of these clips with elon it’s a very very common thing that i’ve experienced in my own life is it seems that he needs time to get warmed up and started and feel comfortable in a new situation it doesn’t necessarily need to be with a new individual just sitting on this couch in front of this audience talking about this topic he tends to pick up steam as he goes now this is true of a lot of us right the first time that you go out to a networking event or when you’re early in the day of an office and you don’t know a ton of people those are the hardest moments to get going so what is best if you find that you’re struggling to get that steam going is to have a little bit of a pre-going to wherever you’re going routine to get yourself amped up and what i find is that as you’re getting dressed wherever you’re going play music that excites you move around as you’re doing it on the ride over right play loud music you can bang the steering wheel if you’re in an uber start talking to that driver get in the habit of warming yourself up so that when you arrive at that place and if it’s an interview i’ve talked about this you want to start talking to the secretary to the other applicants so that when you sit in that seat you’re not going in cold from a social perspective you’re going in warmed up you’re comfortable conversing with that person you have some stuff to say you can build rapport and you don’t feel like you just need to for the first time all day start croaking something out of your dead voice box what is he doing with his lips [Applause] this is good stuff right here this is fire and he gets rid of the microphone what this is fantastic [Applause] perfect perfect dancing dancing is obviously something that you can be good at you could be not so good at it if you’re doing it in a public venue of any kind i will say 80 of the reception that you receive is based on your commitment if you go up there and you are just trying to have fun you can know that you have no rhythm no moves and quite frankly i don’t know that i’ve ever seen anyone with with less of a repertoire than elon has here but it’s awesome and especially where you see him commit the most is where it gets good where he sells it he takes his jacket off does the fling thing the more commitment that you have in these sorts of scenarios and again this is something we’ve covered jack black knocks us out of the park plus he’s actually got fantastic singing and dance moves so i don’t really have the moves no you do i thought i’d make up for it with just like commitment yeah this this is so so so huge for any sort of situation where you need to dance or participate if you find that you’re in some sort of team building exercise and you’ve got to stand up in front of a group and pretend to be a character what will what will make people like you enjoy that whether it’s dancing or anything else is the level of commitment that you put in thank you for coming and i want to know what is the one thing that has surprised you about your life oh one thing wow well i certainly i’m surprised about the whole thing honestly i certainly didn’t expect to be to be uh for any of these things to happen honestly um yeah i just you know i know i wanted to be involved in technology um and uh in fact the only reason i started a company back in 95 an internet company was because i couldn’t get it there were only a few internet companies and i couldn’t get a job at any of them i tried to get a job at netscape um and uh sent my resume and i tried hanging out in the lobby but i was too shy to talk to anyone and and then i was like okay well i guess i’ll have to start a company because i can’t get wow that’s crazy and i mean i don’t even know what to make of that i guess that’s a really good thing that he did he didn’t have the guts to go up and speak to anybody uh but i do think what that illustrates is that he sounds like he’s come a long way quite frankly if you’re going from not being able to speak to an individual with no eyes on you two speaking in front of an entire room full of people sometimes with thousands of people millions of people on the internet public facing constantly that’s a huge huge leap so kudos to him for doing it and it does seem like he has built dynamism into his ability to be outgoing and charismatic but what he hasn’t built in is consistency so if you’re finding that that is something that you are struggling with as well you might be interested in checking out our course charisma university charisma university is a 30-day course it’s actually the best thing that i think that i’ve ever made in terms of learning charisma and turning it from just theory that you know and maybe you watch on the channel you enjoy it to something that you live and practice starting with habits that are thinking but then moving into completely second nature that’s the whole point of it and it’s built around action guides these are little things that you do every day of those 30 days start to establish habits of everything from how do you introduce yourself how do you answer common questions like where are you from and what do you do for a living all the way moving through conversation into body language talking about speeches and of course even ending with something like leadership which is very important when you’re someone like elon musk and hopefully becomes important in your own life so if you want to check that course out i highly recommend it we’ve got over 5000 students that have stayed in the course and they have the opportunity like you will to get your money back if it’s not for you and every one of those 5 000 people has decided to stay so that is the group size of people that think that charisma university is well worth the investment and it comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee for any reason at all so if you go through the course and you find that for whatever reason you’re not into it you just drop us a line and you get all of your money back and we do that because quite frankly if it’s not worth it to you then i don’t think you should have to take it i hate those types of courses and all those businesses that run off of grabbing your credit card information and then never letting go that’s not what we do so if you think you want to check that out and you think that you’ve got some growth you could perhaps become more charismatic more confident or even just more consistent in the times that you are i highly recommend checking out charisma university either way i hope that you’ve enjoyed this video and i look forward to seeing you in the next one peace

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44 Comments

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  1. He is Autistic/Asperger man so don't expect to look him in the eyes and go beyond the questions someone asks him. I behave also autistic and I also don't look in the eyes and I give very minimalist, short answers to the questions. For us it's just natural. Don't try to teach frog to fly. Elon can be socially ackward, but he is the genius.

  2. I don't think this video is very good or rather it's inaccurate content wise, the editing is really good however.

    It's purely focusing on Elon, it needs a wider selection of examples

    Elon has Aspergers, when you see him been charming that's a skill he has learnt as he has grown up

    I have Aspergers and can feel the relate-ability which is why i feel strongly towards this point

    Needs more examples of different people i feel 🙂

  3. I think he's just lucky. I think a lot of your analyses are after the fact interpretations they're sort of neutralized just by the fact that he is simply lucky. And his behaviors don't necessarily connote rules to be cleaned or anything

  4. I really like the point about elon breaking the cyber truck window, if you give them the energy that something you did was awkward or embarrassing then they will react that way. I sometimes talk faster than I need to and get caught up on words, If I just keep talking through my stumbles there is usually a light hearted joke to be cracked instead of me not finishing the sentence and both parties thinking “this is awkward”

  5. I was at a brain regan show and the mic went out and he started cracking jokes at the top of his lungs so that everyone could hear him. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen a true professional

  6. This example is great. He doesn't care he's in the top. 3 richest ppl he don't care if the laugh he's made way more money they they will ever make Period. Me all need that kind of motivation

  7. I think he's struggling to get it going is perhaps his autism, he probably has so many thoughts running. Through his head that he needs time to process what he wants to say so he can articulate it rather then just word vomit

  8. The problem is that extrovert people never get it. Elon is like this because he is so f smart, he thinks in too many levels. I consider my self smart (not a Elon level) and sometimes I have so many things running in my head and just imagine what is running in Elon's head, space travel, running companies, complex machinery, investments, meaning of life, the future of the world, etc. For extrovert people having social skills can be everything, but for other people is just one variable in 1000 other things

  9. People on the spectrum act differently with different people. Some people I can be the life and soul of the party and others can't even be near them, let alone look at them

  10. I have a lot of commitment going into situations, but instantly fold afterwards and live with lifelong flashbacks of embarrassment because of them… How do you prevent yourself from feeling that way?

  11. Elon is just a bit awkward because his aspergurs. He's constantly thinking on another level. He calculates just about every thought and how he's going to answer a question.

  12. Elon is amazing, it is a lot harder for him to act charismatically or how people expect. He has Asperger's, it is really inspiring to me that he has done so well in the spotlight.

  13. He is autistic, so the eye contact, stuttering, fidgeting etc and then becoming comfortable when discussing his interest is completely understandable. I am also on the spectrum, your videos are very helpful 🙂

  14. He seems awkward to most because he has aspergers. You should do a video on people and interactions being on the autistic spectrum. This is why Elon is the way he is, not because he is shy or anything else.