How To Be The Most Confident Version Of Yourself


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in today’s video you’ll learn four habits that will let you feel confident in almost any situation we’ll do this by analyzing some clips of jake gyllenhaal someone who effortlessly projects a fun confident attitude this sweater is destroyed it’s done or it’s the new rage puppy ripped sweater the first step if you want to be confident in any situation is to learn to laugh at yourself for an example watch jake in this next clip he’s being forced to read something he said about hugh jackman to you jackman his strength comes from an engine of volume of vulnerability you gotta love that wow wow us actors are really pretentious aren’t we when you laugh at yourself you sub communicate to the people around you that your imperfections don’t bother you more importantly when you can laugh at your mistakes you stop worrying about making them because confidence isn’t thinking you’re perfect it’s being comfortable with the ways you are imperfect so how do you build this habit if you aren’t currently comfortable with your imperfections the easiest way to start is by telling funny stories from your distant past for example listen to how jake tells the story of bombing his lord of the rings audition and i had to scene with lions and and i didn’t have an accent because everyone has a british accent and i didn’t do an accent for it and he’s literally he told me he’s like you are the worst actor i have ever ever seen he’s like did anyone tell you’re supposed to have an accent i was like no there he was like well fire agents it’s easier to laugh at stories from your past because there’s a time separation you could be a totally different person today so you get to practice laughing at yourself without highlighting today’s insecurities learning to laugh at yourself has another benefit it trains you to feel confident even when someone is teasing you but there’s a difference between friendly teasing and someone trying to put you down if you think someone is being rude the confident thing to do is give yourself permission to call out behavior you don’t like watch these next few clips to see how first jimmy fallon brings up a gossip magazine that was critical of jake anyways this has gotten itch at one point the brokeback mountain star used his fork to scratch his own back in a rather uncouth manner laughing wouldn’t be bad here if you thought it was funny but jake doesn’t find it funny so he’s unapologetic and he holds his frame did you scratch him do you scratch it back with a fork yeah man you did that was you yeah yeah totally why is it weird uncouth let me say something let me just say something yeah like oh they determine what’s couthin on coup you you take a picture behind my back and then call me uncouth in your own life the key is to call out the behavior not the person calling out the person would be something like hey don’t be a dick that’s likely to make them defensive calling out the behavior would be something like hey i don’t like when you do that please don’t do it again now in addition to calling out line crossing behavior you also want to become comfortable calling out awkward moments most people don’t think to do this because they believe calling attention to an awkward moment will only make it worse the truth is awkward moments get more awkward when you try to pretend they aren’t happening it’s like that viral interview from a few years ago where the guest didn’t acknowledge that his kids had walked in shifting sands in the region do you think relations with the north may change um i would be surprised if they do the um pardon me so next time you find yourself in an awkward situation acknowledge it with a joke and a laugh pretending it isn’t happening only enhances the awkwardness here’s one more example this time with jake and ellen degeneres we’re just saying you are such an amazing actor and you choose such diverse roles and that you were a night crawler and you had lost all that weight because you want to be coyote-like and then southpaw you’re a boxer and your body is insanely good ellen acts like she’s going to talk about his acting skills but quickly makes it all about his body jake feels weird about it so he laughs and calls it out um and now you’re doing uh what what no it’s funny you’re like you’re a good actor you’re so good and your body is so good yeah like i guess that’s actually yeah you can also do this when you’re the one responsible for the awkwardness like jake is here there’s a great scene where you’re at your wedding your character’s wedding and you’re break dancing yes and you do a complete breakdance routine yes i am jake’s reaction is a little odd and you can tell conan isn’t sure how to respond if you find yourself in an awkward situation like this here’s how to instantly turn things around yes i am how do you feel about your you look at it now and you’re feeling good about your breakdance routine i expected a bigger response from that one yes i do break dance by calling it out with a smile jake breaks the awkwardness now you won’t have a studio audience to applaud you but the principle still applies in your life for instance let’s say you just told a joke and it bombed and now there’s an awkward silence you can smile and say i’m not gonna lie i thought that would get a bigger laugh this will very likely get a laugh and defuse the awkwardness caused by the bad joke because you’ve acknowledged it the confidence to call yourself out comes from a mindset shift most people focus on trying to impress the person they’re talking to instead make your focus in conversation to have fun does this do press to operate no don’t touch it i like how your names are on the chairs so you guys know which chair to say we’re idiots let’s be honest this is amazing put this on here it’s like how high [Laughter] jake will even extend some interviews and be late to others because he’s having fun and one more one more this is so this is fun just one more let’s please just one more ready now a lot of people want to have more fun in conversation but they aren’t sure how maybe you don’t think you’re funny or maybe you feel like your mind goes blank whenever you try to think of something clever to say if that’s you then the easiest thing you can do is be a heightener keep an eye out for someone else to make a joke and then laugh jump in and double down on it this will help you be more playful in conversation and as an added bonus whoever you’re heightening will feel good that you liked their joke here’s a fun quick example of how to do that with jake and ryan reynolds you’re gonna see like little red dots like come on with a tranquilizer now everything we’ve talked about is much easier when you’ve internalized one mindset social confidence doesn’t demand that anyone specific like you it trusts that enough people will over time this mindset lets you take the pressure off any single introduction date or job interview because you realize you only need some of your conversations to go well not all of them so you can afford to make a few bad impressions in the pursuit of focusing on having fun if you can adopt this abundance mindset you will be way more confident in any conversation now you might think building the habits in this video will take you a long time or maybe you think it’s impossible for you that you could never actually put this stuff into practice but building confidence is way easier than you think with the right game plan you can become significantly more confident in just a few weeks if you want the fastest way i know to take your confidence and charisma to the next level you should check out our program charisma university rather than tell you about the program myself here are a few things that past members have said i had confidence in some areas but not in others then charisma university changed that for me since beginning the program i have seen noticeable changes in my life it has helped me unlock the confidence that comes from knowing that i can go into any social situation and crush it another member wrote in i’ve always been bad at expressing myself in situations that weren’t one-on-one in conversations i’d find myself hesitant to speak or i get caught in my own head overthinking things after cu i am now way more confident in saying what i think i feel much happier all the time i was even able to talk to a woman i’ve had a crush on for about a year and made a great first impression overall i love this course and i keep going back to it when i need a refresher on the daily action modules and the last one writes thank you so much for this program after going through charisma i’ve made more friends have higher self-esteem and can more easily talk to people i don’t know i’ve solidified my values and i know who i am the program is literally guaranteed to change your life that means you can take the entire course and if you don’t think it was worth every penny you can give yourself a full refund from inside the program if you want to see if charisma university is right for you click the link on screen now or in the description below either way i hope you enjoyed this video i really appreciate you taking the time to watch it and i hope to see you in the next one you

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36 Comments

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  1. Not only is this useful for practical applications in life. But I find this very useful into writing a charismatic character properly!

    I have to say, when your charisma is so radiant and contagious that it's oozing off my screen and im laughing along. That's impressive.

  2. Recently got on medication for my ADHD and man… I’m finally at the point in my 23 years that I want to have fun and enjoy life..too bad I have 23 years of awkwardness to undo 😂 I’m finding it easier now and Jake is a big inspiration for me in this way. Can’t wait for what’s next

  3. This stuff is so useless honestly. Just teaches you to put on an insincere front (if you are morally okay with not being genuine). How about actually being confident and yourself? It's only possible through faith in Christ.

  4. It really doesn't take long to internalize the stuff you teach! I started watching your videos on Thursday, had a conversation at a new job that would have intimidated me on Monday, I crushed it instead! Literally only a few days!

  5. I have a really hard time calling out bad behavior. I fear I may come off as angry and confrontational or like I'm overreacting to something and come off as rude in response.
    I find that people usually make subtle disrespectful or mean comments to me in conversation and I don't know how to call them out because I fear making a scene and so the person continues talking without me stopping them.
    Anyone have any tips?

  6. I was hoping to learn how to maintain confidence while an authority figure threatens putting you in juvenile prison for being an abuse victim.
    I think I have the wrong Coc vid

  7. Today, I found that l don't watch through these videos due to my trained habit to change video when the plug comes. Usually, it's at the end of a video. Haha