5 Psychological Tricks Bullies Use (And How To Stop Them)


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amazon’s the boys is full of personalities that are fun to watch but would be terrible to encounter in real life i’m the homelander and i can do whatever i want superpowers aside we’ve all encountered this type tough guy bullies who try to push you around make you feel uncomfortable or get you to agree to something that you don’t really want so that’s why in this video we are going to cover five psychological tricks bullies use to control you and what you can do instead to avoid them and stop those bullies in their tracks now since we’re mainly using billy butcher and homelander as examples of these tough guys there are going to be some light spoilers through season 1 of the boys you’ve been warned first off one thing that you might encounter from a bully is mismatching friendly gestures with domineering physicality so on the surface they may be greeting you with a friendly handshake but really they’re crushing your hand in a death vice the same thing can occur when they get uncomfortably close to make a point or touch you in a way that is fake friendly as homelander often does and i trust we never have to have this conversation again now homelander and billy butcher are clearly imposing individuals but in real life this kind of touch is usually more ambiguous perhaps it’s a bully tactic or maybe it’s not intended that way so rather than calling out these types of touches or shrinking away the best response in real life is to mirror with positive intentions so someone throws their arm on your shoulder throw your arm on their shoulder with as much warmth as you can muster the friendliness that you display makes it hard for someone to continue touching you in an uncomfortable way especially since you’re doing everything that they do back now the second bullying tactic is one that you see in sales situations quite often and it has two elements that often come as a one-two punch first someone will put you in a highly emotional state before asking you to make a big decision butcher is a huge fan of this when it comes to getting huey to do what he wants stoking his anger and his fears you’re laughing she’s a joke so what are you gonna do about it so unless you want to explain why you got america’s favorite invisible wanker dead on the floor give us now in your life people will play to these same emotions as well as dreams for the future as you’ve probably seen in a million ads now there’s nothing wrong with an emotional appeal in and of itself but this enters into manipulative territory when emotional appeals are combined with extreme scarcity like when someone gives you only seconds to make an important decision and butcher knows the power of this to get people to make ras decisions as you can see here listen i think this is good i’m good this is your one and only mate once i go i’m gone this technique of using high emotional stakes combined with only a few moments to decide is a favorite of salespeople all over the world and if you fall for it you will make many purchases that you regret over the course of your life so the simple rule is this 24 hours said another way never make a big decision without having a night to sleep on it if you’re at a presentation and there is a table rush scenario with limited copies of a book or a course to buy do not join in the stampede if you receive an exploding job offer but they need to know this second if you’re gonna take it pass unless they’ll wait until tomorrow and if you’re pushed further you can just say sorry i have a policy to never make a big decision without at least a night to sleep on it and to be crystal clear any decision that won’t matter in a week should still be made as quickly as possible with no second guessing you want to save that deliberation for those big decisions now the third bully tactic is one of the most common it’s one of butcher’s favorites and it can leave you stammering locked in your head wondering how to respond and i’m talking about the insult this is like a scene in the matrix now he could take the [ __ ] red pill right spend the rest of your life jacking off crying into your chai tea green lady what the take the other pill equipping a kid which pill that you want me to take just quit being a that’s what i’m saying now i did a whole video on how to handle insults which i think you should check out since they come in all kinds of flavors and varieties several of which are covered there but butcher tends towards unambiguously disrespectful name-calling that’s his favorite i’ll tell you who you are [ __ ] [ __ ] in the event someone is this directly insulting to you plan a is normally to remove them from your life but if you want or need to continue to interact with this person the most powerful response is actually not to try to one-up them or be clever and i know you’ve probably sat in your car and it can feel really good to imagine what you would have said but saying that clever thing just encourages an arms race of ever more clever insults if you really want to end the insults once and for all instead say this where i come from that is really disrespectful don’t ever call me that again and then say nothing if the other person makes excuses don’t address them if they say that you’re overreacting take it easy again just don’t address it wait until they apologize then you can forgive them and move on and by the way if it’s a friend who’s doing this and you think that they might have positive intentions they’re just being sarcastic it’s best to do this more softly and privately so that they can save face now fourth for the fourth bully tactic i want to move into mindset since there’s no exact set of words that’s going to be sufficient for every situation and for this one i’m talking about people who make demands with personal threats attached butcher for instance likes to pair these with threats of physical intimidation like here look i don’t want to come here but i need your help and you’re gonna [ __ ] help in butcher’s case the threat is often implied to be physical but some demands in the real world are less explicit for instance in social circles common threats are that if you don’t comply you’ll be kicked out of the group in the workplace it’s that you’ll lose your job if you don’t do what the boss says i’m also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on sunday too okay and of course the truth is some of those threats will be real at different points in your life if you ignore your boss’s demands for long enough you will be out of a job so if you feel like you’re being pushed around either by a physical bully in a friend group or at work and you want it to stop the only long-term strategy is to find a way to accept the consequences of saying no which means that you might benefit from starting to learn jiu-jitsu now to defend yourself or diversifying your friend group so that you feel less reliant on ones who might be mean to you or of course you could develop financial options like a side hustle so that you can risk saying no to a pushy boss if you do this the paradox is that you will rarely need to fall back on these options once you have them bullies generally sense those people that don’t feel comfortable saying no and are hardest on them they find them to pick on the most i’ve seen this to be the case everywhere from the schoolyard to the workplace and there is one subtle variation of this that can make certain demands even harder to resist even if you do have options and its demands where someone that you care about is threatening you with their own harm or their own sadness you can see this here in a scene with starlight’s mom who manipulates her emotionally throughout the series please all my friends are going to be watching on tv see it again here with butcher when he feels like he’s out of options he truly tries every tough guy trick in the book did i mention this is life or death if you have a loved one who consistently makes demands with their own well-being hanging in the balance recognize that no one is made whole or happy when they outsource emotional control of their life so playing into that pattern doesn’t even help them in the long run additionally caring about someone does not mean that you must say yes all the time so to break out of this pattern practice saying things like i love you but i’m not going to do that you might even add here’s what i can do instead if there is something that you’re truly willing and capable of giving now this will definitely create discomfort but in the long run those boundaries are what make for healthy relationships now all of these tips work excellently but they are hugely enhanced by having deep authentic confidence and if you want to learn more about developing authentic confidence for yourself so that these tips become more second nature to you you might be interested in our course emotional mastery emotional mastery is a 24 day program that is designed to help you master your emotions and your subconscious beliefs so that you’re consistently feeling better than you might think is possible right now the goal of the course is to raise the baseline level of joy that you experience on a day-to-day basis which naturally spills over into boosted confidence the way that it works is by focusing first and foremost on your relationship with yourself that means exercises that get you in touch with feelings that you may have been repressing for a long time so that you can actually get to the root cause of those times where you’re controlled by the fear of rejection or failure or conflict and then put an end to them now if you’re a fan of the self-esteem or the deeper level confidence topics that i cover on the channel i would definitely recommend checking out emotional mastery because it is the most foundational thing that i have to get those areas of your life locked down so if you are intrigued and you want to know more the best way you can do that is to check out the course directly with the link below and you can do that knowing that it comes with a 60 day money back guarantee there’s no hoops to jump through if you’re not totally satisfied with the course you just let us know and we’ll give you your full money back but i do hope that you check it out because this course addresses how to live with more joy and how to be less controlled by some of the negative emotions that limit so many of us so if you’re interested and you think you might like to join go ahead click the link below i hope to see you on the inside but either way i hope that you enjoyed this video and i will see you in the next one you

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  1. I know someone that is a wannabe gangster and I need help because they bully people and don't care about the repercussions. They will physically and verbally bully people and the only people he doesn't do it to are his friends. I don't do anything back to him because before what I am going to say he never treated me this badly but today he started punching my leg and smacking my face and I would just try to stop him but not return it. I sit next to him and I will get bullied even more if I move and he will confront me any time teachers aren't looking and physically and/or verbally bully me. I know that he will continue because he did this to somebody else and I need help because I do not know what to do. He also might try catching me in the streets and fighting me there if I do something and I am not able to do anything back. I will pray to god it ends today because he will be suspended for the next week but after that, I will still sit with him and will continue to get bullied probably. I need help and advice on what to do please. I have a project that I am anxious about starting and he is not very smart so he doesn't help and forces other people to do it. I only sit next to him in one class but that class is one of the longest and he is going to the high school I want to go to but I don't want to choose another high school simply because he is there but if I don't then I will probably keep getting bullied.

  2. I faced bulling in my office by my colleagues one was younger than me and other was 10 years older than me.
    I threatened the younger guy to beat the hell out.
    I phoned the elder one and insulted him in private.
    Not saying i feel proud of this but it earned me peace during work breaks.

  3. For me, its about stopping to act like a vicitm, if the bullies are talking to you aggressively and being annoying, do your things, and act deaf, they’ll slowly be embarrassed of themselves, physical bullying is the limitation tho, once they touched you, swing

  4. I hate bulliess. I once asked for a kids lunch money and he said "no". I was really offended and embarrassed so i punched him repeatedly in the stomach. He gave me his lunch money. Remember folks, always stand up for yourself.

  5. Idk bully in school as far as I know for varbal abuse it goes two ways 1)ignore them for the rest of your life pretend they didn't exist or 2) punch them in the face to let them know you're freaking annoyed with them.
    Never encountered a physical bully before I'm glad I didn't cause I could resort to a more violence outcome since I used to think taking weapon with themselves feels safe(in the end I never picked up that habit)

  6. 1. Mirror passive aggressive body language with positive intentions.
    2. Emotional appeal with scarcity is an manipulation tactic. Never make a big decision without 24 hours to think about it. If the decision won't matter in a week, it's a small decision, just make it.
    3. That's very disrespectful, don't ever say that again. (For personal insults, ignore till they stop).
    4. Find a way to accept the consequences of saying no.
    5. I care about you but I won't do that, in relation to people that threaten self-harm to control you. Provide something else that you can do instead.

  7. Bullies bully folks because folks let them get away with it. Don't let a bully get close, put his hands on you. Side step to his right. And keep walking

  8. To any lovely, sweet, sensitive person who clicked on a popular YouTube video looking for answers because people have been awful to you and you don't know what to do, I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say something to you. I'm sorry the world is so unkind. I'm sorry society places the onus on you to harden yourself rather than those people to stop being jerks. I'm sorry the process of hardening is difficult and painful. I hope you are able to keep some of your softness, and please don't be ashamed of it because it's nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, many of us have to "toughen up" to survive, but always remember that's not because there's something wrong with you. It's just a way you unfortunately have to adapt to survive in a messed up society. I want you to know it's never your fault when people mistreat you, okay? Okay. Now you go and keep on keeping on. Things will get better for you.

  9. my bully calls me names to my face and to the whole high school! even posts bad stuff about me online, and has taken it as far as to message my parents!! the principal and teachers wont help me and they see all the things this girl is doing to me, if it continues my therapist has told me to call the cops on her because its straight up harassment

  10. ….i grew up in Hell…Abusive & murderous step mother. My father, tried to tone her down but it never worked..he didn't understand the genetic issue. & he had been horribly abused by his stepfather. He often said "it Stops with me" & He was Never abusive…i took that to heart.
    i am never abusive either, in fact..i don't even feel it in me at any time..but i will Defend 'underdogs'…Anyway…per bullies. i let them hurl their 'Big insult'..then i smile at them, a little mona lisa smile, & wait 5 – 6 seconds before responding..when i respond, i tilt my head slightly, arch an eyebrow, & say: …"Obviously, You are not as smart as you think you are." Then i smile a little bigger, slowly turn & walk away…if they find their voice & throw more insults i don't look back, i just raise one hand & give them the queens wave. IF they jump in front of me..i tell them it's not worth my time & walk around them..if they try to grab me, i grab their hand & press on the nerves just enough to let them know i know how & tell them if they hurt me i Will hurt them back.
    For the dense & hard headed i have had to walk my talk..but never more than once.

  11. Punch them in the face… its that simple even if you get beat up, the bully will know what they'll get again the next time and they will respect and never bother you again. Its really that simple. POW! Right in the kisser.

  12. find a corner with no cameras and witnesses and bash his head open. i had to quit my job cuz i don't wanna go to prison, sometimes police doesn't understand self defence.

  13. The second lesson is about not selling your soul or settling for less there’s always gonna be somebody out there like that whatever you need and you don’t have to sleep, fight, or put up for it. Another adult giving another adult and ultimatum is such a condescending gripe of mine. They create doubt in your head so that you question your morals and standards.