5 Ways To Develop Charisma Faster


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learning things slowly is a bummer but unfortunately that is the route that I see most people go when it comes to learning confidence and charisma either they don’t try to learn it all or they spend ten times longer trying to take skills and integrate them when it could be done much more quickly and that’s exactly why in this video I want to give you five tips for taking everything that you’ve learned on this channel about confidence charisma and perhaps elsewhere and making it an unthinking habit much much more quickly now this is actually a fan question that we received on the podcast but I think this answer is important enough to share with you here on the main channel so here it is so we were talking about last night at dinner the fact that we’re hiring someone to hopefully write charisma scripts yes right yes we’ve been working on this so I’ve been wrote a couple of scripts he did the Thor one he does even more tea you did a handful and he did the Floyd Connor we’ve made some bad predictions he said Conor McGregor’s gonna win every fight I audible at the last minute I wasn’t feeling confident changed it to my twinners yeah so Ben Ben made a handful of videos I’ve made a lot of the videos and in the last six months I’ve started to get help researching which was really nice but then I was like okay I wonder if someone can help me research I wonder if I can be involved sort of as an advisor role and somebody else can do the writing of the script I’ll be the guy here’s an interesting point here’s an interesting point but also this person would need to find interesting points on their own so just that’s the background as we’ve been trying to do and one of the things that we rise is this person is they’re very smart they’re very hard-working they write very well but they don’t have the same handle on charisma yeah right and so you’re gonna train them on how to be a better writer I’m gonna start training them on how to learn charisma yeah so I thought it’d be interesting to talk on the podcast about how do you learn charisma as quickly as possible earn charisma as quickly as possible yeah so the first thing that we discussed last night which I’m sure of is this can’t be simply an intellectual exercise I think some of the since we’ve been working with writers it’s a thought process which is important where you experiment in your mind and you go oh what would happen if this person had done this or what would happen if they did the opposite but what is critical is that you take some of those hypotheses out into the real world in your life and see how they apply because what is occurring on Graham Norton Show is not going to port one for one exactly to every situation that you’re gonna encounter in the office so that’s the first thing is to come up with hypothesis by watching your friends family other people who are charismatic like oh I think his stories are good because when he’s talking he takes a really deep breath before he hits that main point I’ll try doing that in my life I’ll see if it works for me so testing that’s one thing that that definitely needs to happen yeah so I think one step before that is being aware of your own reactions to people and who makes a charismatic impression on you good or bad because first you have to come up with what am I gonna test right so one way can you guys watch our videos but another way is you can just be aware in your own life pay attention the moments that you really like someone that somebody makes you in awe of them or that someone pisses you off makes you uncomfortable makes you feel creeped out and note what that person did try to play the scene back in your head that’s what we did we didn’t have money charisma breakdowns to watch right but what we could do is just watch charismatic people and when they get a big laugh or when we would go oh my god I really like this person you stop and you think what are they doing mm-hmm that makes me really like them so we have a neighbor grants roommate who I really like even though I’ve never really spent much time with and I rise it’s cuz whenever the elevators closing or whenever we’re going our separate ways he stops what he’s doing for 15 seconds to finish our conversation it makes me feel like he’s genuinely interested and I thought oh my god I really like this guy why and then that’s my hypothesis and then I can do what you said and go test it in my own life and see how it goes yeah I think that that self awareness of your own reactions to people can be really helpful and that’s a great point and that’s something that you’ll never see on the Graham Norton Show because you don’t ride an elevator or something but that’s yeah that’s that’s just an excellent point the other thing that really helped you and I was having one another and I think I just can’t the ability to to bounce that idea off of me and then have me go oh wow that relates to this thing that I experienced in work but it doesn’t work in X Y Z scenario super super useful so can’t can’t overlook anything else yes don’t try to do everything at once ah so I think this is why this is why in charisma University there’s one daily action per day I think there’s with our YouTube channel there can be a sense of this is really fun to watch I’m gonna watch six videos and you go out into the world you go okay I’m gonna touch like Chris Hemsworth and I contact like Tom Holland I’m gonna tell stories like Kevin Hart and it’s overwhelming yeah and I know we did we just went alright today all I’m gonna do is try to make eye contact with people I don’t have to speak I don’t have to be funny I don’t have to do anything but look people in the eye and you do that for one day or three days or however long it takes to feel comfortable and then you go okay now that is kind of an unthinking habit now I can focus on storytelling yep and I think that way it’s not so overwhelming and weirdly enough you’ll get good much faster yeah by only focusing on one thing at a time yeah totally that’s that’s huge and even it within one video there’s five points yeah pick one of me you know the videos have five points to be entertainment but you got to pick one thing to do and then one way to pick the things is that I that I get to do as a job which is really nice is to pick someone who you consider sort of a charisma icon someone that you like and and do that watching of a handful of their videos or even just five to ten minutes in the morning so I when I want to be funny I watch the best of stepbrothers because I like Farrell sense of humor in that and I just steal his jokes or I’ll watch Chris Pratt and five to ten minutes before you go somewhere really does drive home the mentality and then you pick one concrete thing to add to that so you have this under this underlying willingness to be absurd to just have fun in the moment and then you add on top of that okay I’m gonna spice these jokes up with one particular thing I’m gonna double down in there and then if you do that for handful days you’re like okay I’m starting to develop that skill now it’s time to move on to something else and I think that that would be the way that I would recommend that most people use our channel to go about learning it as fast as they can yeah for sure when I wanted to be more playful I started watching Brooklyn nine-nine 20 minute episodes I wanted a incredibly hopefully it Justin SEPs you yeah you you almost can’t help but start to be like the people that you’re watching totally there’s also why it’s really dangerous to watch McCoy or posh characters who are dicks yeah too long because you really can’t it is inception you don’t get to ignore it it’s like hypnosis yeah and then you wind up being sarcastic because that works for this character and there’s a particular role and I go what do you know like the good hypothesis to have tested in the real world because people don’t really like it when I one-up everything they say with my incredibly awesome zinger like there’s not a laugh track this doesn’t work the same way it does in that particular TV show so yeah so good luck teaching I I it’s been interesting to do a meta analysis of what is going on as I look at these things and also to meta analyze what we’ve been doing for 10 years which was we were analyzing people and now I’m analyzing myself as I analyze those people to try to find where we got most of our wins from it’s very confusing one day I wonder if it’d be interesting I don’t I don’t know if it’d be cool for the main channel to talk through the process of making one of these charisma breakdowns it might be a sort of a niche audience thing maybe I bet people would be interested in it perhaps on the podcast I can I can discuss it in greater detail cuz it does get it gets to nitty gritty and once you see how the sausage is made you’re like kind of just wanted to eat the hot dog no I don’t know I just took thirty hours exactly in the time stance that you wrote and all the points that didn’t make it in and yeah it’s not as it’s not as fun and interesting as the final video works out but I do enjoy it a lot so there can I if it’s the right person if it’s the right person so I hope that you have enjoyed those tips and that you start implementing them right away if you’re interested in checking out the entire podcast you can do so with the description in the link below but also let me just say I hope that you decide to check the podcast out regularly because I’ve been having a ton of fun with it first and foremost I am a philosophy guy that’s what I studied in college that’s what I spend my free time doing it and I’m always interested in how that intersects with psychology what’s going on in the media today and personal development and the podcast in terms of the reviews we’ve been getting has reflected that this is something that we are passionate about people seem to really enjoy it so if you want to check that podcast out it’s something that Ben and I have been doing twice a week every week over on our podcast channel or wherever podcasts are streamed I hope that to stop in take a listen leave a comment let us know what your liking but either way I hope that you’ve enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one [Music]

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40 Comments

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  1. I am astonished by your charisma – Implement this program and add +2 to your Charisma

    Perhaps more – depending on ( other )

    Charisma ( +2 )

    it might even be

    2
    CHR

    You have the power.

  2. I love the fact he brought up B99. I just started watching the show recently and I'm trying to be more like Jake. So far its been helping a lot with talking to coworkers and just joking and having fun in the work place. One of my coworkers likes to joke around and being around him lets me try new stuff and see what works.

  3. It was great to see you talking through a different medium as well as seeing your thought process. It made me appreciate the videos that you produce a lot more. I also subscribed to your new podcast! I'm interested in hearing you talk more.

  4. When I started watching HIMYM in 8th grade I taught me to be more confident and now that I don't watch TV I just feel boring. Guess I gotta do what y'all say and watch 5 minutes of someone in the mindset I want to be in.

  5. I do the opposite of what you guys do. For example; I really hate how approachable people think I am, soooo, not to do anything too rash… I decided to look homeless! I have found people avoid even making eye contact with me like "oh no! He's gonna ask me for change!". what is really nice about this (besides avoiding small talk and increasing my productivity) is I have set people's expectations for myself, extremely low! Why is this important? One it's incredibly easy to impress someone and two people are less needy.

  6. Hey guys, love your channel! I'm sort of new, so do you have advice on charisma to and by women? Love the channel, but I personally noticed some of the things I do as a woman can be seen as threatening or bossy (mostly taking leadership and having initiative), and so I wanted to know how to act accordingly in order to keep the peace (especially it's an elephant in the room no one else wants to talk about). Cheers!

  7. Would love to see some more philosophy videos from you. It's arguably one of the most important things in our lives. What good is it to be charismatic if you don't know to what end or what for? Maybe look to CosmicSkeptic/Sam Harris for some inspiration. Much love, man! <3

  8. 6:33 Solid point there. Once you start watching something or binge watch a show you start picking up things you don't even realise about a certain character you like. And most people tend to pick up the most snarky person as he/she is he most entertaining one and suddenly you are trying to be them without really knowing it.

  9. Won't lie, it might be nitty and gritty, but I live for that niche kind of thinking. That's my life, I guess I've been doing it without the same form of execution as you guys, but I for one vote for it. Great content.

  10. Man, you guys have such great videos. And this one is really cool, being a podcast that's more in a conversational setting. Anyway, keep it up guys. You and Thomas Frank are the best.

  11. I love the style of this video in which Charlie and Ben are discussing the points of charisma together.
    More videos of this type would be greatly appreciated, as the conversation between the two of you is very informative but more importantly deeply engaging.
    Thanks! 🙂

  12. I'd love to see how your videos are made because I have an interest in a career of filmmaking and content creation. I've found alot of wisdom in your videos, and it would be nice to see other types of wisdom