7 Red Flags In Dating You Should Always Take Seriously


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90-day fiance videos have been making the rounds on YouTube these days and Wow there are some amazingly toxic relationships in that show unfortunately it can be hard to recognize when your own relationship is headed for trouble until it’s too late so today we’re going to cover seven red flags that are early signs of a toxic relationship now because this is reality TV it has some extreme examples and everything is heavily edited so we’re only going to cover situations that are common in everyday life and that people tend to ignore so we won’t cover signs that are hopefully obvious like a thirty year age gap a history of domestic abuse or straight-up telling you that they only like you for your money the first early warning sign of a potentially toxic relationship is when someone them or you prioritizes being attractive over being honest sometimes this will be outright lying about something to make themselves seem more attractive like Edie does in this clip I thought was the same height maybe I would have a chance other times it might be holding back from telling you something important because they think you’ll like them less for it I don’t want more kids but she does I didn’t tell her sooner because I didn’t wanna lose her this behavior is often justified like that saying that they love you so much they didn’t want to risk losing you and especially when it’s something less important like height it can be easy to write it off as a small thing but even for something small when you catch someone prioritizing being attractive over being honest it’s a red flag this person is showing that they’re willing to deceive you if it’ll get them what they want if you ignore this early sign you may find yourself in a manipulative relationship another early sign of a manipulative relationship is if the person makes it a headache to not give them what they want for example in this next clip the woman is seeing her long-distance boyfriend for the first time in a long time and this is the first thing she says [Music] that joke alone is actually totally fine but unfortunately for that guy it keeps going no flowers honey I’m sorry I’m sure this guy cringed when a few minutes later they walked past a flower stand by you twenty dollars flowers at first you might think this is harmless behavior after all she’s definitely making sure this guy learns his lesson bring flowers to the airport or get a headache but you shouldn’t be in a relationship where people are motivated by avoiding a headache instead search for a relationship where you and the person treat each other the way you both want to be treated because you’re inspired to without needing the threat of negativity nagging is only one of the common tactics for doing this another headache tactic to manipulate you is to attack your self-esteem insulting you until you do what they want just to prove them wrong what Jennifer does here are you two cowards I’m to power part of that I am maybe you’re not they’re right for me maybe you’re everything the last common tactic that some people will try to use to manipulate you is frequent crying now it should go without saying it’s important to comfort a partner who is genuinely crying and has good reason you’ll have to use your judgement here but as an example watch what Darcy does after this man says he doesn’t wanna sleep with her the very first night they met do you want to sleep here comfortable [Music] whether it’s with nagging attacking your self-esteem or guilt if your partner frequently uses negative emotions to get you to do what they want it’s a good sign you’re heading for a toxic relationship another early sign of a toxic relationship is when they say what they think you want to hear but then later their actions don’t match their words for example saying they care about you but then being purposefully hurtful I don’t know everyone could yeah okay and try not to ruin the next one I’m happy to move on I got bigger and better coming wait on another example would be promising to support you in something but then not following through it was like anything you need you can rely on me I can help you he does a beer and I needed his help like he’s support as outside observers it’s obvious to us that if she gets back together with someone who’s promised to help her and then abandon her he’ll just continue to promise the world and then under deliver but she gets back with him anyway why because when you like someone you want the nice things they say to be true that’s why it’s important that you maintain strong relationships outside of your romantic one your friends and family are often going to have a more accurate and less biased view of your relationship than you do in fact another early sign that your relationship is toxic is if your friends and family don’t like your relationship this seems obvious when you’re not in the relationship but when emotions are involved many people suddenly find themselves ignoring the advice of the people around them I’m worried about how they’re gonna react when I tell them that I am married they did have some doubts about our relationship and this rarely ends well what is a problem I am coming back I am coming back on here’s another example where an 18 year old girl is marrying a 27 year old guy that she’s been dating for less than a year reasonably her friends have reservations about it but she just ignores them so you’re gonna be married before your one-year anniversary even comes up yes actually yes that is crazy emmalin maybe to you tuning out your loved ones can be dangerous when you’re just in the early stages of a relationship at the same time you don’t want to let other people decide how you live your life so a good question to ask yourself is is the person giving you advice someone you respect and someone who has had relationships you would want if so then that is a good sign to listen to their concerns these strong external relationships are so helpful in preventing a toxic relationship and sometimes people will proactively try to distance you from your friends and family they know that if they can weaken these ties they’ll force you to be more dependent on them for love and therefore more uncomfortable about the idea of breaking up with them and living without them this can take many forms but one common one is trying to stop you from going out at night without another warning sign is they try to control who you text with like this woman who tries to get this guy to stop texting any woman he’s not related to intimacy to me you’re about to be married you don’t answer literally you shouldn’t be answering anyone but your family members no matter how you ended up here whether it’s because of infidelity or just insecurity when you reach the point where one person can’t trust the other to behave with integrity unless they’re supervised it’s time to end the relationship the restrictions will only get worse over time I definitely don’t have good luck in finding faithful men from this point on I can’t believe the house without telling me the reason people stay in relationships like this is actually the same whether you’re the jealous partner obsessed with control or the restricted partner allowing yourself to be bullied for both parties they’re not confident that they can find someone else they like who will be with them this lack of confidence and self-esteem is a common factor in toxic relationships also more about how to boost your confidence and self-esteem at the end of the video now one big reason why friends and family might have a different opinion of your significant other than you do is because sometimes in toxic relationships we see our significant others not as they are but as we want them to be an early sign that you’re projecting more onto your partner than they actually are is if you develop strong feelings before you know them the most extreme example of this is love at first sight like this woman falling in love from a dating profile this can seem romantic and certainly being that infatuated feels amazing at the time but it shows you’ve created an idea of someone and fallen in love with that invented version of them we saw earlier how all that worked out for this guy if you feel yourself falling hard for someone in a relatively short period of time that’s fine but it’s important not to make any permanent decisions based on that in fashion you just want to end up like this woman who wants to marry a man she’s never even met this may seem like an extreme example but situations like this actually play out all the time whether it’s eloping moving in together having a baby this is especially dangerous because it’s very common for toxic relationships to start well in fact a toxic partner will often make a better first impression than average because they wear more of a facade in the beginning of a relationship than most people do then once they know they have you hooked their behavior gets worse now almost all relationships involves some amount of fighting but if you find your relationship is like a roller coaster with a lot of extreme highs and extreme lows it’s a good sign that it’s a toxic relationship I mean we fought a lot but we established that that’s us if you find that you’ve started to normalize things like fighting or constant breakups then it’s time to recognize your relationship maybe built more on addiction and codependence than on happiness you don’t want to be describing your relationship like this it’s been really difficult over the last few months we’ve makeup and breakup almost every day the biggest issue that leads to these toxic relationships is a lack of self esteem and confidence with true confidence no one would behave this way or put up with this type of behavior if something in this video has resonated with you maybe you’ve seen these behaviors in yourself or in a past relationship I highly recommend you check out charisma University it’s our step by step guided program that’s the fastest way I know of to build more confidence it will also help you take your charisma to the next level giving you more options in dating so that you won’t be scared of winding up alone now you can read all about the details in the link below but I figure the best way to let you know what this is all about is just to let the members speak for themselves so here are just a few of the things that Cu members have written in via email or the course Commons the first one comes from a guy who saw major improvements in his social and dating life he says life changing in six weeks I went from being socially awkward with few friends to the life of every event I attend I also went from having serious girl problems to dating the girl of my dreams this next person used to struggle socially and saw major improvements after see you they said through most of early adulthood I was shy timid and took a defensive stance on social interactions now I am more confident in social situations will talk to literally anyone about anything will have a good time even if no one else is and I’m more in control interactions in my career and just happier and this last one is from a woman who had just gotten back from a speaking tour she says last year I joined see you right before two public speaking events though I didn’t do anything too terribly embarrassing well on stage my lack of confidence was obvious to everyone in the room fast forward to this weekend I owned the stage and spoke to over 2,000 business owners it was so powerful that even my marketing assistant was completely lost for words there are more success stories just like those in the comments if you decide to join the course if you do join it comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee which is 100 percent for any reason at all and it’s 60 days even though the course is only 30 days because I want to make sure every single person truly feels like they’re getting a ton from the course otherwise you can just refund so if you want to check out the course go ahead and click the link on screen now or below in the description we’ve had thousands of members go through this course and get a ton out of it I hope that you decide to join if this is an area of your life that you’re looking to improve either way I hope you like this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one you

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20 Comments

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  1. Ive noticed that pretty much all negative videos feature women and most positive ones feature men. Even in a video like this one where both men and women wave red flags, you chose to only use women in your thumbnails. I was going to gift your course to my niece for her 21st birthday but it seems you have a bias against women.

  2. Find a person that narrates these videos without constantly uptalking – preferably someone that NEVER uptalks. If you don't know what up-talking is ( also known as up-speaking) there are plenty of videos on YouTube that will explain it to you. I say this because most people that uptalk do NOT know what up-talking is. Basically uptalking is placing an interrogating inflection when simply making a statement. A person uptalking a lot sounds like a person constantly asking questions. The results of uptalking in a strange combination of sounding juvenile as well as condescending and patronizing.
    Example " Earth is about 4.5 billions years old? It was created by nuclear fusion in stars creating the heavier elements? The universe is about 14.5 billions years old?"

    Do you notice how ridiculous uptalking looks when it's written out?

  3. I attempted to get into a relationship, but not only did the girl want to be in control, but she actively began to show signs of toxicity: Both by telling me that I was not allowed to critique her art unless she 'asked', and when she began gaslighting me when I confronted her on her habit of starting tense arguments over trite nothings and refusing to end them unless she got the last word.

    It was clear to me that not only was I not meant for a relationship with her, but also why she doesn't have a man in her life in the here and now.

  4. It's a good idea to pay attention to family/friends or ask their advice… unless family members are also … toxic (but sometimes you don't even realize it). I can happen that a close friend family can me scare to lose you (if you're going in a strong relationship) and could be tempted to "keep you" around while advising not to invest in the relationship…. Tricky….