First Minute Energy: How To Look Charming In Seconds


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George Clooney has a subtle and almost effortless charm and unlike some of the people that we’ve covered on this channel you don’t have to take drastic steps to emulate it so today we are going to be looking at some of the habits that make him so effortlessly charismatic and learned what you can do to convey that same charm in your life the first thing that you can learn from George is that at the start of every social interaction rather than focusing on what you say focus primarily on setting the tone and pick the one that suits you best now to see this principle in action let’s begin by examining the most common start to any social situation entering a room first have a look at this clip of a young Daniel Radcliffe making an entrance on stage [Applause] you’ll notice that Daniel seems a bit nervous his walk is rigid and he heads quickly towards Ellen without taking in the room or acknowledging the audience now contrast this to an older George Clooney while he enters David Letterman stage [Applause] George feels much more relaxed his pace is slower he looks around smiling and he lingers to greet the audience that carefree attitude sets the tone from the start and frames the rest of the conversation you’ll also see George often spend more time to touch and warmly greet people when he enters a new space like here all these habits add up to one clear point whether you’re walking into an interview a workplace meeting or a bar for the first 10 to 20 seconds of any new interaction in a new place rather than worrying about what to say next focus on setting the tone now you can go really high energy like a Will Smith with huge gestures greeting everyone loudly or you can go for the more subdued Clooney charm like taking time to make yourself comfortable and then greeting others with a smile either way the energy at the start of an interaction counts for far more than the specific words you say so put your focus there now if it’s not already clear the energy that George tends to create is one of comfort and this extends to how he situates himself physically just watch the reason that this is important to note is that physical comfort leads to psychological comfort and feeling comfortable is one of the main ingredients of charm even the simple act of crossing your legs if that makes you feel comfortable or resting your arms on the on chair combined with a relaxed posture can make you feel as if you were hanging out in your own living room as opposed to being under any sort of pressure like on a talk show or in an interview now moving on to the next point let’s have a look at an easy way to make people laugh and enjoy your company without having to tell funnier jokes or even be much higher energy and that is laughing with your eyes watch how the interviewer here laughs incredibly easy at George’s jokes and it’s largely because he is priming her to do so by showing signs of laughter in his own eyes in the same way that other people laughing can make you crack up for no apparent reason seeing laughing eyes can do the same without you even realizing just watch have you ever been to Washington DC it’s they are almost identical there is it washes Hollywood for ugly people it’s like Hollywood with big marble props and if you’re worried about laughing at your own jokes don’t sweat it when you have fun with your jokes even to the point of laughing at them it is very charming as long as the laughter is real and not forced here’s a good example give me everything in the drawer okay show me a gun or a knife right the manager was like did he just hold you up and is like no he just asked for the money in the dropper I’m gonna take what let me make sure you have a gun right so the key here isn’t simply to squint your eyes or put on a veneer of laughter behind your speech it’s to get emotionally involved without your saying so that it’s actually fun for you and when you do this your eyes will naturally go to that laughing look and people will match you making your charm effortless and this brings us to another element we’re more genuine involvement in the things that you’re saying is going to help and that is your eye contact now there’s a popular myth that more eye contact is simply better and of course if you’re staring at your feet half the time more eye contact would be an improvement but Georgia’s style of speech illustrates that looking down while forming thoughts can actually make your communication feel more genuine after all there is a natural tendency to look down when you’re accessing emotional memories the key then is not to make unblinking eye contact but to be more like a boomerang making sure to return to the person you’re speaking to after looking away so that they feel involved like here threw myself on the ground and it was a strike you know and everyone laughed and I remember there was a just a defining moment when I stood up and I looked at the guy and I realized I’ll never hit an 85 mile I’ll never hit that now on another video on Don Draper we discussed that if you are giving more sporadic eye contact the best time to deliver that is when you’re making your most important point and there’s no hard and fast rule but George shows a way to handle this with humor and that’s to make the punch line when you deliver that strong eye contact but then to break as people laugh so they don’t feel too much pressure and you see him do this repeatedly African American family moves into an all-white neighborhood and the mailman knocks on the door and says his mrs. Myers here and she says I’m mrs. Myers and he went door-to-door to tell everyone have you seen your new neighbors and by that evening there were about 500 people on the lawn protesting and building a fence around the house some of your music from the new album and you’re right on the beach and I was like aren’t you don’t you worry about somebody ripping you off you know and somebody recorded from the beach didn’t they yeah I could say something go to sleep and wake up in the morning and my career be over it doesn’t make sense to me that I would have that weapon available at any point now that last clip segues well into our next and it’s George’s self-deprecating nature he does this all the time but what’s perhaps most interesting here is that he does his self deprecation more in some situations than in others and it connects to two seemingly opposite sides of his personality his propensity to tease prank and laugh at people compared to his propensity to compliment people and to laugh at himself now the reason that these two opposing sides actually work so well together is that there’s a pattern to the way George uses them he’s likely to be playful with people of a similar status sometimes teasing them or laughing at them but is often supportive and complimentary towards those that might have a lower status than him in any given social situation so for instance George will tease other celebrities of a similar stature like here on that slide on the way down now so we got him in a pretty big discount he’s also notorious for pulling pranks on his colleagues and here he actually shows a picture of his naked crotch to Jimmy Kimmel on his show the flipside he regularly showers his interviewers who are less known in compliments we talk about the green sweater can we bring it out yeah what do you want to talk about it’s good is it weird no it’s good and I’m telling you it looks great and he often delivers these compliments with self deprecation lowering his own position in a joking way define us retro-futuristic would you want to explain I think I don’t know you take your best shot you’re smart so consider whether you are punching up or down when it comes to teasing or laughing at people at your level and above and it’s more likely to be fun for everyone involved as long as you’re coming from a positive place but if you’re talking to someone who is lower than you in terms of status like a student who’s in a younger grade or an employee who’s underneath you in a business hierarchy or someone operating in a service role for you generally compliments are a much better way to go because you can come across as a bully without even meaning to if you’re teasing due to your status now this finally brings us to the mindset which ties all of this together and it’s that it doesn’t appear that George’s ultimate goal in conversation is to be charming nor should it be yours it appears that his ultimate goal is simply to feel good and to make the other people around him feel good too now that’s why he takes the time to settle in and it’s why he has variable ways of treating people different things make people feel better depending on their status now if you do this you’ll probably find that you are more willing to crack jokes at your own expense television star there used to sing yeah about eight inches and they can make it oh let’s not say eight inches [Laughter] you’ll probably also find that you’re quicker on your feet when things go wrong because it’s just another opportunity to have fun [Applause] so instead of habitually asking yourself what can I do to fit in or what do I have to say to make this conversation better ask yourself instead what would make both of us feel more comfortable right now or what would make both of us have more fun if you do that the charm will flow much more easily if you’re interested in the fastest way that I know to build both competence and charisma I would recommend checking out our program charisma University it’s a step-by-step guided program that’s guaranteed to give you more confidence and charisma in just 30 days and it’s structured with the daily action guide so that there’s no guesswork when it comes to learning these habits you just follow the guide and you get the results now you can read all about the details in the link below but I figured the best way to let you know what this is all about is just to let the members speak for themselves so here are just a few of the things that Cu members have written in via email or the course comments the first one comes from a guy who got promoted to a senior position early in his career and he says I don’t even have a Bachelor diploma yet they want me to fill this position and when asked why this was the answer you have great social skills which is rare for an engineer you can think quick on your feet and you are open and self-assured in your demeanor thank you so much for all that you’ve taught me you have truly changed my life because without Cu I wouldn’t have qualified for that position in a million lifetimes now this next one comes from another person who started a new job saying I wanted to let you know that I nailed those first days at work everything that I needed was right there at the right moment the confidence the energy the smile the positive mindset and all with your tips from last Tuesday in mind it could just not go wrong and he finishes by saying I just wanted to emphasize that what I did the previous day’s would not even have come to my mind if I had not discovered that charisma is a skill that can be learned thanks to your YouTube channel and university program and this last one is a comment in the course from someone who’s that mainly to improve their social and dating life and he says life changing in six weeks I went from being socially awkward with a few friends to the life of every event I attend I also went from having serious girl problems to dating the girl of my dreams charisma University transform me from a lonely introvert hoping to better connect with people to an energy filled extrovert who makes new friends everywhere I go and there are more success stories just like those in the comments if you decide to join in the course if you do join it comes with a 60-day money-back guarantee which is 100 percent for any at all and it’s 60 days even though the course is only 30 days because I want to make sure that every single person truly feels like they’re getting a ton of value from the course otherwise you can just refund so if you want to check the course out go ahead click the link on the screen now or below in the description we’ve had thousands of members go through this course and get a ton out of it I hope that you decide to join if this is an area of your life that you’re looking to improve and I look forward to seeing you in the next one

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36 Comments

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  1. That’s a video to be god given sexy and good looking, and how to add charisma to it.
    Look at people that are not good looking in the first place, coz that’s not the norm.
    Make a video for average looking joes that are super charismatic to be more relatable to the everyday person.
    The people you analyze are already ahead of the game without even opening their mouths.

  2. I think that what is missing about clooney is that he is a natural leader, the video focuses só much on how he feels comfortable, but more importantly, he has a charming way to lead other people emotions.

  3. OK first of all, George Clooney has probably spent way more time on talkshows than Daniel Radcliffe, Daniel may not be comfortable in front of an audience, and he may not have done as many talkshows. George is considerably older and has had time to gain confidence in meeting people. I would not make this comparison.

  4. I didn't like him on tv and don't like him on the big screen 2 Academy Awards? And Paul Newman never got one? Even for Cool Hand Luke? Clonny belongs to the Hollywood cabal. That explains his stellar success.

  5. This lesson was a great reminder in what the primary goal is within a social interaction: to feel good with, and around others. Because we all want to have a good time with friends and the people we want to be around, and sometimes the most obvious takeaway is the most poignant. Once I started the habit of imagining everyone in a room that I’m walking into is talking about me with cheer and excitement, it helps all the techniques taught here regarding how to enter a room come a lot more naturally.

  6. it's nothing these people do consciously and neither can you learn following overanalyzing instructions like this. These people simply have lower levels of social anxiety due to genetics and biography. Often it's simply their looks for which they got pampered throughout their lives. Nothing to learn here.

  7. George is an inherent extrovert, Daniel seems naturally introverted. I wouldn't compare to others. We bring different kinds of value to social interactions.

    It also helps to be surrounded by yes men who's salary depends on you continuing to be wealthy, handsome and successful at your job.

  8. Physical comfort = Psychological comfort e.g. relaxing leg on other leg, sitting with arms on chair

    Laughing with eyes

    Look down when thinking and then make eye contact. Be like a boomerang.

    Compliment people below you and prank with ppl of same level or above.

    Goal is to feel good and make others feel good

    Ask what would make both of us have more fun?

  9. Notice the way he picks up a glass also… its the way people pick up alcohol. Soooo…. maybe george has a little courage just to keep him in the mood enough 😉