Jordan Peterson — The Simple Reason Why Successful People Are Lonely


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people can’t tolerate isolation you know it’s it’s a very rare person who can who can be on their own and stay together if you concentrate solely on your career you can get a long way in your career and I would say that that’s a strategy that a minority of men preferentially do that’s all they do they work like 70 80 hours a week they go flat out on their career they’re staking everything on the small probability of exceptional status in a narrow domain but it’s it’s hard on them they don’t have a life it’s very difficult for them to have a family they don’t know how to take any Leisure activity like they get very one dimensional now it may be that that unidimensionality is the price you have to pay to be exceptional at one thing right because if you’re going to be something like a genius level mathematician and you want to do that for a scientist to say it’s like you’re in your lab you’re in your lab all the time you’re working 70 hours a week or 80 hours a week you’re smart you’re dedicated you’re uni-dimensional and that’s how you get to beat all the other people who are doing that it’s the only way but the problem is you don’t get a life now if you love being a scientist and you have that kind of focus of Mind well first of all you’re a rare person and second you’re going to pay for it but find more power to you often if you’re speaking about having a healthy life that isn’t what you do you spread yourself out more so you know you have a family you have some things that you do outside of work that are meaningful to you and useful you you have a network of friends those three things a loner four things a loner plenty to keep you well oriented and then if one of those things collapses you know everything doesn’t go now the price you pay for that is the more you strive to optimize that balance the less likely you are to be fantastically successful at any single one of them if you consider your life as a whole that might be a winning strategy one of the things Carl Jung said I really like this he thought that men went after Perfection and when women went after wholeness there’s something different at the top of the value hierarchy so Perfection would be stake it all on one thing and and look for radical success not not that all men do that because they don’t but we’re talking about extremes at least with regards to the men that do that the wholeness idea is more like it’s like I want one thing in my life to be 150 percent or I want five things in my life to be 80 well there’s a lot more richness in a life where you have five things operating at eighty percent but you’re not operating in any at any of them at 150 percent I’ve met many people who are very very rich and you can look at their lives and they have these huge houses and material planting and they’re shielded from many catastrophes that would hit someone without those resources harder but their lives are still full of exactly the same troubles that characterize human life in general and so you you compare yourself on one dimension you don’t see why the person’s worked 80 hours a week for 40 years and it’s blown all his relationships out of the water it’s like yes he’s rich but he’s also old now you know he’s 60 and one of the best predictors of wealth is age you know really do you want to be young and poor or old and Rich it’s like I’d pick young and poor because you can’t buy youth and and that’s something that’s worth considering but you don’t know what burdens the people you’re jealous of are carrying and if you’re in an organization that only rewards the um exercise of power the probability that that organization is going to fail in totality is extraordinarily High because it’s a tyrannical organization it’ll lose touch with its customers so let’s see sweet types um they’re working non-stop corporate lawyers in New York you know they make 700 an hour but they work all the time all the time and there are people who are suited for for that but it isn’t obvious that that’s for everyone or that it should be or that it’s even desirable now it’s a temperamental issue to a large degree you know many of those people are hyper conscientious and so if they they’ll work whatever wherever you put them what they would do is work that’s who they are and it’s biological as well you know you think that the people who run things are sitting at home smoking big cigars and like telling their minions what to do it’s like that is not that’s like the 1920s millionaire that’s on the cover of the Monopoly game that’s no sociological analysis I know lots of people like that and they work all the time all the time from the second they wake up until the second they go to sleep and they don’t just casually work you know because I know some of you go to the library for six hours and you say well I study in the library for six hours like no you didn’t you studied for half an hour you had coffee and you looked through Facebook and you know you went home and you said well I studied for six hours and you’re happy about it but you know bloody well you did hard because you can’t you know I can only read for about three and a half hours till I’m done and I’m pretty good at it so these people who are running things there’s corrupt people obviously but the vast majority of them first are self-made and second they’re so bloody efficient and smart you cannot believe it and they work 80 hours a week and most of them happen to be men and why is that because there are a small number of insane men who will do nothing but work 80 hours a week and no matter where you put them if you put them in the middle of a horse with an ax all they would do is run around dropping down trees well you want to be an outstanding scientist it’s like okay really really that’s what you want because that means that’s what you do [Music] because you’re competing with other people you know they’re smart they’re hard working and if you want to be at the top you have to be smarter and work harder than any of and working hard means working long hours I mean it also means working diligently but if I’m smart and hard working and I can crank out for 70 hours a week and you do it for 30. it’s like in two years I’m so far ahead of you you will never ever catch up I’ve met lots of people who were was suicidal because of that but also unwilling to take care of themselves you know because they were so guilty about who they were and them and their motive being in the world that they just felt that they weren’t worth the damn trouble there is a spark of divinity within us and it is possible that the fact that you have that spark of divinity with you also means that you have the capability to withstand that terrible vulnerability it’s an encouragement to assume to act out the proposition that even if life is as difficult as it seems to be and if you’re as vulnerable and weak in a fundamental sense as you definitely are and characterized by this terrible propensity for the infliction of voluntary suffering on yourself and others and that destructive tendency that there’s still something within you that’s so remarkable and so aligned with with order and being in the proper manner that you can climb above that

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  1. He is going in circles, very disorganized presentation. This is what you'd call rambling. Some of the arguments are poorly made and implausible. Very dogmatic thinking… This guy is lost.. I think he has some mental and social deficiencies, traumas, and this is how he plays them out. He does not himself have what he thinks "he or others" need to be happy. Struggling with substance abuse is one example of his mental struggles.

  2. I'm beginning to balance being highly intelligent and having a life. Though having a life is defined by spending time with my family. I still don't have friends outside work and home life, but I hope to find my tribe that knows there is more to me than being smart.

  3. Balance is the secret of everything if you are able to balance everything in life not letting one thing being to important you wont lose balance and will be happy and move forward in life

  4. I worked thousands of hours to become a daytrader.
    I was always alone. Every obstacle by my own. A very hard way with countless throwbacks.
    Everyone thought, I was a dreamer and trading is gambling.
    I met someone in a trading chat last year and we improved so much last year (aka the year of pain).
    Tho he trades very different than me.
    I got to know another lad a few weeks ago and we are more or less everyday in close contact.
    We improved so much in this short period of time.

    If you have a goal which is hard to achieve and has a high failure rate (95-99% in case of daytrading) you must be hyper focused.
    Complete dedication without major distraction is the way to success.

    Treat your path to achieve your goal as the education of your lifetime and you will succeed!

    Good luck everyone 👍👍👍