The Cut Off Rule: How To Make People Respect You In Seconds


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normally earning respect takes years of demonstrating high character but there are exceptions and that’s why in this video we’ll cover six psychological tricks that you can use to command more respect almost instantly and to do it we’ll be breaking down some of the most commanding presences that we’ve covered on this channel the first trick to immediately command more respect is to upgrade your thin slice people can make their first judgement on whether or not they like someone within just 5 seconds of seeing them and it’s dramatized but we’ve all experienced the sense of liking someone as soon as we saw them like in the scene from Crazy Stupid Love Finn’s laces are necessarily shallow judgements and it can be tempting to chalk yours all up to genetic luck of the draw but you do not have to be Ryan Gosling or Emma Stone to have a strong thin slice in fact one massive lever in your direct control is your clothes now the mistake that most people make here is dressing with the subconscious goal of blending in because they’re subconsciously scared of being judged they dress like everyone around them to avoid even being noticed and I don’t want to focus too much on this but there are two quick fixes first to start dressing one level nicer than the situation calls for which will get you noticed in a positive way and that’s exactly what you see from Ryan Gosling and Crazy Stupid Love and second is to focus much more on finding a brand that fits and flatters your body type rather than finding the most expensive brand you can afford now after your style the next easy trick to influence your thin slice and immediately command more respect is to physically take up more space watch here has Tony Robbins own the space around him when he speaks and how it captivates his listener you know three dollars a week no twenty five hundred dollars excites him more that memory to this day than even the million bucks you know you did it first 24-hour version right or you break in the form in a million bucks out of your mind now physically taking up more space doesn’t have to mean huge hand gestures that demand the spotlight it could be as simple as sitting asymmetrically or taking up your entire seat and the goal here isn’t to encroach on anyone else’s space in some kind of dominance game in fact you can always adjust to make more room for the people around you it’s to sub communicate that you aren’t afraid of being seen with your body and that’s exactly what restrain jesters and shrinking body language do the easiest way to take up more space in a non-invasive way is with your own posture next time that you’re about to enter a room just take a second to roll your shoulders back a few times and increase the space between the bottom of your ribs and your hip bones this will make you stand taller and you’ll notice an immediate difference in how you feel as well as how people look at you now the next trick is closely related to taking up more space and it’s to get comfortable with platonic touching and yes this one is on pause for the duration of social distancing but generally speaking most Westerners are awkward when it comes to making physical contact with others for instance waving hello instead of handshaking and generally avoiding any physical contact after that initial greeting but touch is integral to human connection and not just with romantic partners touch builds trust and creates a feeling of safety and of closeness it’s one of the ways Oprah Winfrey connects with people so quickly [Applause] now obviously this has to be done correctly otherwise you can create discomfort and there’s four key principles for making sure that your touch is appropriate and well-received first keep your touch to non central areas of the body like the hands the arms the shoulders and the upper back second keep each touch to roughly under five seconds if your touch lingers longer than that it can start to feel creepy third be a universal touch sure give it caring touch to the people around you regardless of your attraction to them and you’ll come across as friendly and confident but if you focus on just one person then you might have a crush on you can seem weird and even predatory and force be mindful of how people react and of course calibrate accordingly if you see someone stiffen or lean back then you’ve gone too far and need to pull back yourself don’t be like Seinfeld’s close talker friend who is completely unaware of people’s reactions now that we’ve covered body language in our first tips let’s talk about the first trick that has to do with what you say and if you want to instantly command more respect from the people around you then don’t allow yourself to be cut off mid-sentence most people think it’s polite to stop talking when someone interrupts them in conversation but when you let someone bulldoze you into shutting up you’re signalling that their opinions take precedence over yours and this is especially true in group conversation regardless of your political affiliation if you’ve watched the Republican primaries in 2016 you saw this play a big part in Trump’s ability to make his opponents look weak as a candidate he supports federal taxpayer funding for Planned Parenthood I disagree with him on that that’s a matter of biggest liar you probably are worse than Jeb Bush [Applause] all right this guy lied let me just say it now to be clear that doesn’t mean that you want to step on other people and hog the spotlight talking nonstop or even talking more than others but to command respect you should always finish your sentences when you have the floor even if someone is trying to talk over you watch how quickly a young Jaden Smith gives up on being heard in this next clip now compare that to Jaden’s father will hear by coming in just a little bit louder than everyone else and making his sentence unstoppable will gets his joke heard gets a big laugh from the audience and immediately Bradley Cooper is excited to hop onto wills conversational thread now another perfect example is Russell Brand in the viral interview he did with MSNBC notice he doesn’t yell he doesn’t rush to finish he simply continues unfazed at his normal pace until he’s completed his thought and then he defers this is something you’d like to learn more about we have a full video on how to stop people from talking over you that I’m gonna link to in the top right corner and the description box below just one last caveat on this this is most important in groups if you’re talking one-on-one with someone you do not need to worry about this nearly as much but moving along the next counterintuitive psychological trick is to complement your competition the opposite trying to tear down another person’s successes or talents is a great way to quickly lose respect even if you feel justified in your opinion sharing it makes you look bitter and jealous on the contrary actually praising your opposition shows a confidence that very few people have for example here’s Jordan Peterson who is religious speaking about atheists and atheism there’s a good case to be made for atheism I mean let’s let’s make no no bones about it because you could say in some sense there’s been 300 400 years of brilliant scientists who’ve been doing nothing but laying the foundation for a non objective empirical atheism if you show this type of respect for an opponent’s beliefs and achievements people will immediately be more open to what you have to say and they’ll respect you for admitting that there is strength on the opposite side as well I am here tonight to say a few words about an American hero that I’ve come to know very well and admire very much Senator John okay now bringing it back to your own life to areas that this may apply are in work and in dating for instance when you elevate a co-worker by complimenting their work you elevate yourself as well because you show that you’re fair honest and confident on the flip side and dating if you badmouth someone because you think your crush might like them you actually just make yourself seem insecure and petty and turn off your crush in the first place now there are exceptions to this of course there are people who can trashed all of their rivals in a way that commands tons of respect Muhammad Ali is a prime example of that right what a beautiful swing and the person is Frazier clean out of the rain but when they came for the fight that they would have witnessed imagine of a colored satellite this works for Olli and Conor McGregor because not only are they in environments where trash-talking is encouraged but there’s also humour and over-the-topness to what they say that humor is what turns a potentially arrogant statement into a fun confident one now the last trick to instantly command more respect is to openly share your shortcomings most people incorrectly think that you have to hide your flaws put on a strong front and fake it till you make it right the truth is more nuanced and that’s because people can sense when you’re hiding something especially if you’re overcompensating she didn’t mutual in reality people do not judge you on your shortcomings they judge you on how you perceive your shortcomings by being open about your imperfections you show that you’re not afraid to be seen as you are this is the genius behind the final raf battle in eight-mile rather than pretend to be someone he is in eminem owns the quote unquote bad things about himself and wins the battle ending the movie when you share your flaws and they don’t embarrass you it shows massive confidence you just watch the reaction that brad pitt gets for this award acceptance speech let’s be honest it was a difficult part the guy who gets high takes his shirt off and doesn’t get on with his wife there’s a big stretch it’s big [Applause] but you do need to know how to use this trick properly so that it doesn’t backfire and the key is all in the delivery you have two strong options here you can say your shortcomings as a joke like Brad does here or you could say it as a simple statement of fact with strong eye contact no stutter and a downward tone willing to paint himself in the shadow of his failures or makes a far more interesting conversation this night cam would sure take a seat by my side when I change now all these tips work excellently but they are hugely enhanced by deep authentic confidence and if you want to learn more about developing authentic confidence so that these tips become more second nature to you you might be interested in our course emotional mastery emotional mastery is a 30-day program that is designed to help you master your emotions and your subconscious beliefs so that you consistently feel better than you might think as possible and the goal of the course is to raise the baseline level of joy that you feel on a day to day basis which naturally spills over into boosted confidence now the way this works is by focusing first and foremost on your relationship with yourself this means exercises that get you in touch with feelings that you may have been repressing for a long time so that you can put in end to those moments where you’re being controlled by fear of rejection failure or conflict now a very common outcome is that members of the course realize that they want to share everything they’ve learned in their lives and help other people on their own personal development journeys so I’ve actually added a bonus section that is a crash course in starting a YouTube channel this is something that I made at the very beginning of my channel we had only twenty thousand subscribers so it’s a very tactical explanation of how to build a following from zero if that’s something that interests you now this is only the second time that I’ve spoken about emotional mastery on the channel before because we normally only offer to people who have joined our email list or the charisma university program and that means that there’s actually no sales page explaining what the course is about it’s just a checkout page so if this is something that intrigues you and you’re curious and you want to know more the best way to check it out is just to check out the course directly with the link below and you can do that knowing that the course comes with a 60 day money-back guarantee that is absolutely for any reason at all there’s nothing that you need to do nothing to fill out you just go to the billing section hit refund and you’ll get every penny back if you do it within those 60 days but I do hope that you check this course out because it addresses how to live with more joy in your life and how to be less controlled by negative emotions that might be limiting you and they tend to limit most people this is what I’m most excited about and I’m continually working to improve this course it’s also something that’s perfect for use during quarantine so if you’d like to join now go ahead click the link below I hope to see you on the inside either way I hope that you’ve enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you in the next one

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38 Comments

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  1. I do really appreciate these videos! After all of my 69 years, I've come to realize the moniker "You little bastard" was almost completely fitting! I understand that diplomacy, at any level had somehow escaped being a part of my daily repertoire and hoping to mitigate this unfortunate situation with the help of your offerings. So far, it seems to be working for me! Thanks again and always, Have a Great Day Today my friends! 👏

  2. Honestly I knew this already and it can all be simplified 😂 be confident that’s it really if u are sure in your self no one else can ever out “shine” u or doubt who you are,he talked about having a stance and certain way of speech to demand attention but reality is not this simple just be strong in who you believe you are and it will resonate with those that are receptive and those that don’t will distinguish them selfs easy by not entertaining your thoughts and you can leave that energy alone all together cause why would you want to impress or show to some one that doesn’t even want to see that you are capable of more then they expect,this is all to get you to “fake till you make” and. That backfires every time😮just be the you you are and the right ppl will always come around you😅

  3. 😂😂 whoever here is crying watching youtube to get respect, you will never get it even if you memorize the whole captions😂. You only get respect if you have money

  4. This is more about being extroverted and neurotypical. But for introverts, ADHD people and so on, although most are brilliant and definitely respectable, this will be a torture.

  5. this is so amazingly mass media lame crap that sounds like it was written by AI that i can hardly believe it. If this speaks to you, the first thing you should do to start having more respect for YOURSELF and from others is to stop being such a Modern Mass Media Brainwashed Normie.

  6. My wife family were toxic, vile, disfunctional, liars, and flat out evil. My wife was the oldest. She was only 22 when we married. We had 7 children in our first 11 years. Within the first few years these faults started to come out. Never getting better. I would say to my wife that she had to be adopted. That she in no aspect could be related to these people. My wife is American Italian. He parents were from Italy.
    Firstly, no question was her mother and sister jealous of her. My wife is stunning, gorgeous, smart, a super wife and mother. Never complaining and uplifting. Living to a standard they chose not to. He mother and sister where the direct opposite.
    When I met my wife she was about 110 lbs with a gorgeous figure. After every one of the seven births she in no time went back to her 110 lbs, witjout a stretch mark wearing a bikini, and still does today. Her mother and sister were the direct opposite. They always tried to discredit her about her weight. I though when heard them or my wife told me dealt with it head on.
    Their jealousy took off in a new direction which was evil. They tried gtting in between us and our older 3 kids, doing and saying things behind our backs. Too long to share it was just evil.
    We had to start separating from them little by little. Along the way my in-laws through a real estate deal burnt us for $500k. That was the the end and we totally disconnected. Thank God that $500k didn't change our life style. In favt once we broke from their curse we made that back more than a 100 times over. The in-laws deceased in 2013 and than my father in law in 2019 and was blind for his past 3 years on earth.
    Its so sad that they chose to become the people they became. I use to tell them in the early years I planned on making it big in business. While I did, my wife and I are married 40 years, and couldn't be any happier and more in love. We now have 5 grandchildren and living the American Dream!!!
    Oh, my in-laws have missed out on seeing their daughter so happy, and not because I just bought her a 2023 Ferrari SF90 Stradale. Cost more than the $500k I lost to them through that fraudulent deal. 😊

  7. NEVER TOUCH A WOMAN FIRST. A woman will touch you after she feels safe and comfortable with you. If you touch a woman first, you're doomed. Only touch her AFTER she's touched you, indicating she doesnt think you are a creep.

  8. Why are there pictures of celebrities in this video? Who respects them? I surely don't. I "admire" people with their phenomenal talent and hard work, but don't "respect" them. Human beings are not worthy of being respected, period. But that's just my opinion.

  9. Hey yall, the NEXT time someone interrupts you when you're speaking, JUUUUUUUSSST start clapping like you're at a pep rally & say, "Good answer" & repeat until they face shift to confusion! Then carry on to continue your thought provoking verbal speech/exhortation/thesis… YOU have the floor! Juuuuuuuusst saying, fam – suggestion

  10. I'm going to go check it put, and see what it cost. I promise you that if its something I can afford I can guarantee. You said about raising the baseline level of joy on a day to day. To raise it means you would have to have being that the last time I felt joy, I be beyond generous somehow I felt joy a year ago. I'll even honor you as being successful with me if I can get to the point of feeling some type of joy one a month. Hopefully I'll be attending your class thing. I'm about to see what it cost