5 Social Hacks To Instantly Look Higher Value


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if you’ve been watching this channel for a while you might have realized that the most interesting and useful psychological tricks that we talk about are not taught in school good news is that’s where we come in so in this video we’re going to be covering five psychological tricks that can get you more of what you want from life more easily and these are especially useful in any sort of scenario where you’re trying to persuade someone the first one has to do with a very common word that you use all day long the word but what people don’t realize around the word button I’m not talking about your rear end I’m talking about the conjunction is that everything that comes after that in a sentence is where all of the emotional weight goes so people get this wrong when they have mixed messages they tend to front-load the good stuff up first and then the bad stuff comes second but this is exactly not the way that you want to do it if you want someone to walk away with a positive feeling about you so here’s a for example let’s say that a friend invites you out and you can’t make it what most people do is they say something like ah man I would love to go I really appreciate the invite but I can’t make it tonight it’s not terrible but all of the emotional emphasis on the fact that you can’t make it if you simply switch that and you say ah I can’t make it tonight but I would have loved to have gone and I really appreciate the invite all of a sudden the emphasis emotionally is on the fact that you’re appreciative that you would have loved to have gone you’re gonna get more invitations that person is going to feel better so any sort of scenario with mixed news put the good stuff second and the Huffer the tougher stuff first this second tip has to do with something called a double bond now these are everywhere the first thing you want to be aware of is when it’s being used in a sales situation perhaps to your detriment so if you’re going out and you’re looking to buy a car for instance you’re meandering through the lot and this person says do you want to buy one that has a leather interior or that has a fabric interior maybe you’ve not set your mind on buying it this place you might want another brand but they’re trying to put you in that line of which of our cars are you gonna buy they don’t care if it’s fabric or leather now this idea is all the time a sales be aware of it but you can actually use it much to your own benefit with people who are stubborn or if there’s a scenario where you know well you’re trying to persuade someone to do is maybe something that they’re not immediately going to be open to and the best way to do this is to use a double it goes like this you say look I know that you’re probably gonna be skeptical about this and quite frankly if you weren’t I would think something is wrong with you when you do that a very interesting double bind occurs if the person agrees with you you’re leading the conversation and you’re gonna explain to them why they’re skeptical and why you are skeptical of this thing but why in the final analysis you came around to having an open mind in the second scenario with the most stubborn people they’ll say what do you mean I’m not skeptical or at least they’ll do this in their own head and they will go into this conversation trying to convince themselves to have an open mind which can be very very useful if you’re trying to persuade someone to do something so that takes us to the third piece this is around visualization now everyone knows that when you visualize you can do incredible things with yourself what we don’t realize is that the images that are created in other people’s heads by our own words are just as powerful and I think the most effective or at least the one that gets commented on the most when I meet fans tip that I have ever given is around interviews and it’s when you get to that final section of the interview you use this tool they say do you have any questions about the company and you respond yes actually I do so let’s say this interview went really well and a year from now we’re looking back what would I have had to have done in that year for you to feel like I was a great employee and then this was a good pick when they’re doing this and they’re going through in their mind answering your question and they’re listing all the traits you would have had to have habit they are visualizing you getting the job and nailing the position so when it comes time to select who’s going to get this job guess who’s gonna be at the top of their list they’ve thought about you doing a great job already the same principle can be used across the board if there’s ever a time where there’s a gate keeper right and you don’t feel like you’re gonna be able to get in there saying add we’re not going to be do this have you ever made an exception immediately forces them to go into their brain and think through imagery of times where they have made an exception if you’re dating or do you want someone to like you generally imagery of you in their mind even if it’s something that will never ever happen that is positive bodes very well for your future relationship so you can be a complete joke if you’re going on a first date you’re going on a second date you might say something like okay our first date you know at the bar that was great our set we’re gonna take a luxury cruise we’re going all across the Mediterranean we’re gonna run around on the beaches and probably fly back in time for Monday right it’s a joke you can laugh about it she can expand or he can expand upon the joke the point is that now this person has this image in their mind that is very fun hopefully and that they are associating with you so any sort of positive imagery that you can create with yourself is going to be very very useful for getting people to like you the fourth tip has to do with framing everyone gets this wrong it is so simple but there’s something that is an iframe and a you frame most people speak in iframes and you can generally find it by the fact that they use the board I often when you’re trying to be persuasive using an iframe is worth nothing it’s all about you frames even if the iframe is polite so I often get messages that say something like it would mean the world to me if you could do X Y or Z for me I love your channel I uh I and while that’s all kind and it’s very polite and sweet it’s not at all persuasive much more effective in the times where I do find myself doing things for fans that have reached out or when they talk about you in this case it’s me and they say you know same person might write an art or might write an article and say I wrote this article it would mean the world to me if you could share with your audience somebody else might say I wrote this article for your audience specifically there’s something in there that is framed around sharing this article to get more eyeballs on your content no pressure but if you’d like to share it I think it could help you out a lot the second one could be the same article is going to be much more persuasive because it’s framed in terms of my benefits and I think when growing up as kids and even interacting with teachers we expect people to just want to do things for us and then when we get out into the world and strangers aren’t as obliging as parents or teachers may have been it comes as a shock to some people so get used to that you frame rather than the iframe the last thing here has to do with scarcity now I’ve talked about scarcity but truly it might be one of the most if not the most important social psychological factors for creating design we go crazy when we feel like this is our last chance to have something someone whatever it is the problem here is that when we really want something in our lives we tend to make ourselves extremely available we destroy any sense of scarcity now I’m not telling you to fake scarcity or fake plans or pretend that you’re not available to the people in your life that are interested in spending time with you but I am saying that when you’re dating for instance and your friends ask you if you can go out Friday night on a Wednesday but you’re trying to keep that weekend open for that person who might ask you say yes to your friends and commit to it I promise you if that person contacts you on Thursday and says are you free Friday you say I can actually because my friends are out but I appreciate the invite and would have loved to write we’re using to hear the next week they’re gonna contact you on Tuesday or Wednesday because that makes them value your time more when you’re looking for jobs don’t just go all-in on one job and explain to them how this is your everything right it might be very important for you to get that job and you can say that but continue searching elsewhere quite frankly this just happened within our company we’re looking to potentially hire someone there in sort of a trial phase and they got to a position where they said look there’s this other gig coming up I do want your job I would really like to have it but I need to know by next Thursday or else I have to take this job this put pressure on us and quite frankly we decided to go with the person would we have otherwise I don’t know the point is scarcity is incredibly important for influencing people works on me works on everybody all the time don’t fake it but allow your schedule to be filled with things that make you a bit more scarce and less 100% available so I hope that you found this helpful you can start applying these tips today what’s up guys this is Charlie from the future realizing that I forgot to make two quick announcements the first one is that we now have a podcast if you’d like to check that out there’s a link in the description where you can watch it on YouTube it will soon be on iTunes stitcher all that stuff but for now the link is in the description if you want to see the most recent episode the second announcement is that we are actually hiring at charisma on command I’m looking for specifically a research assistant potentially a writer to help me with charisma breakdowns it’s a lot of my work goes into this and having someone to support me with that would be massively helpful to creating more content for all of you guys so if you think this is something you’d be good at go ahead they link to the job application is in the description if you know someone if it’s something you thought you could do definitely check that out I’m very excited about this position so that’s it for now I hope that you guys enjoy this video and I will see you in the next one [Music]

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28 Comments

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  1. I already used the phrasing tip with the "but conjunction" and imagery on my parents.
    It somehow diffused an argument and they were left confused about why they didn't wanna reprimand me anymore lel.

  2. After Reading " Never split the difference" by Chris Voss ,Here are a few tactics I've learned.
    1) Labelling emotions : disrupt negative emotions and emphasize your counterpart positive emotions .
    Ex : It seems like you're being stressed about this situation but It sounds like You're stil excited to try your shot .

    2) Mirroring . Just repeat the last 2 or 3 most important words in your counterpart's last sentence . They'd usually change what they initially said in the first place (use also the FM DJ voice )

    3 ) Use calibrated questions that use "how" or "what " : it gives the other the illusion of being in control while you're framing the conversation
    " How am I supposed to accept such a deal ?"
    " What are we trying to accomplish here ?"

    Hope it helped you !

  3. You might have wanted to mention that sometimes that scarcity rule can backfire. You need to be willing to lose whatever it is, cuz that can happen too. It would probably work out for the best, but, sometimes they just go find someone who is a bit more available.

  4. "So there are I frames-"
    Wait, life has invincibility frames? Have I not been rolling around enough?
    "- which you shouldn't use."
    Well if it makes me invulnerable I'm going to take up tumbling- wait… Oh, I think we're on different tracks here, let me rewind…