How To Be Popular Without Being Fake


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shia labeouf has had some incredible swings of popularity in his life from child actor to blockbuster megastar to outcast and now to indie hitmaker all while providing some great memes so just do it make your dreams come true in this video we’re going to learn how shai has gone from those low points to regaining popularity all without being fake and we’re going to cover both the specific behaviors and the mindsets that make it simple for you to be more popular without compromising who you are the first thing that’s going to help you with your popularity and your charisma in any situation is conviction conviction is the strong belief in what you say and do and other people pick it up in your sub communication that’s your eye contact your vocationality and your gestures typically when those things are firm and unwavering now in this next clip you can notice the firmness of shai’s gestures how he doesn’t rely on filler words like um or uh and how he leans in and nods to make his points each one of those being a sub-communication that he believes firmly in what he’s saying yeah that’s me like trying to find my confidence yeah when you start meeting the michael jordans the people you look up to insecurity washes like a wave additionally it’s sometimes the case that cutting through details and getting to your point quickly conveys conviction now this is typically the case in a debate and you see it often those juicy destroy style videos where someone mic drops with a one-liner but that doesn’t mean that you want to speed through everything in your life in fact slowing down savoring the details can be an excellent way to show conviction particularly when you’re storytelling now the whole thing is incredibly well told and worth the watch in itself but shaya telling the story of his arrest on jimmy kimmel is a prime example he has the conviction that what he is saying is worth listening to and it allows him to go on several tangents all of which are funny but don’t directly contribute to the story for instance in the one case of a homeless man that he was talking to while in new york i’m trying to calm this homeless man down in the middle of times square and uh and he don’t want nothing to do with me but i’m not giving up so so so i i i chased him for a while i’m trying to calm down hey it’s me we were just talking relax so if you’re concerned that you might not be conveying conviction a simple thing to practice the next time you’re telling a story is to add just one tangent even if it’s just the story of what you did today this gets you in the habit of slowing down and it gives you the opportunity to build in extra jokes now one last noticeable element of conviction is your eye contact i spoke about this in our video on don draper and it’s not that you have to make eye contact all the time just when you are making your main points what you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons you can check out the whole video if you want a nuanced breakdown and of course you can practice all of these things storytelling gestures eye contact but the thing about conviction is that it is sub-communicated meaning that it’s mostly occurring from gestures you’re not usually in direct control over you feel it in someone without really knowing why and that means you can get ninety percent of the results with ten percent of the effort if you don’t focus on all of the gestures but instead on developing a high conviction mindset that makes those gestures effortless and a huge mindset that will give you more conviction is being more honest you see when you have something to hide your sub communications naturally convey self-doubt take a look at conor mcgregor when asked about his altercation with a man in a bar either for personal or for legal reasons he does not want to answer the question and it makes a guy who is usually very eloquent super high conviction come across as evasive and unsure how did you break your hand inspiring we scheduled a spa i was like i said i was i came back from miami i had scheduled a charity boxing boxing boat in my old club chrome unboxing club many people couldn’t floyd they can floyd the vegas you know shia on the other hand reveals exactly what got him in trouble with the law and his casual nature has a way of making it seem like less of an issue they put a hannibal mask on me and a lead jacket and it was just really rough you must have done something very very bad i spit on a cop it’s a no-no it’s a big no-no i’m sorry if you’re watching dude i’m sorry man that was yeah now this more honest approach doesn’t just extend to things that shia has messed up and it shouldn’t do that with you either to have complete faith in everything you say to really maximize your conviction you have to know that no part of the truth is unspeakable and while it might seem extreme shia says a whole lot of things that many of us might consider too embarrassing to let other people know well i’ll say look like for a person who’s not extremely well in doubt who’s kind of insecure about my own junk there’s something there’s something there’s something about is your headphones up cool i noticed you keep uh yeah yeah okay cool just trying to be cool hello hello what’s incredible here is that his willingness to be honest doesn’t just convey conviction and of course courage it makes you like him more and that’s because shia is vulnerable in a non-attention-seeking way meaning that he’s opening up but he’s not sub-communicating that he needs your approval he’ll say something revealing but then move on without waiting for you to approve or to comfort him now the opposite would be someone who shares how hard things are so that they can solicit your sympathy and now this seemed more to be the case earlier in shai’s career when his vulnerability might have been more that attention-seeking variety though of course it comes down to interpretation he was emotionally pouring out the whole time yeah non-stop stop on the contrary shya’s more recent non-attention-seeking vulnerability communicates that he values telling the truth and just refuses to hide it which is incredibly attractive watch shaya do that here where were you at when this came around like what did you did you need this as much as you think the community needs i also need friends man i’m lonely you know so part of me was like yes i wanted to build this thing but it was also me and bobby fell in love with each other dude became my best friend and watch here how he maintains the same strong body language in a vulnerable moment yeah you know i was a scared actor who thought he was the world thought i was it was sort of like hey he’s the transformers kid trying to be a real actor over here right yeah so i was i was bucking against my insecurity i was desperate to prove myself plus comfortably sharing a fact that might be embarrassing or not paint you in the most desirable light is an excellent way to spice up a story as soon as he’s done with the last dude who comes out he’ll pivot uh-huh and he’ll eat it and so you gotta be quick with it out of his mouth now if you’re being honest you will develop an awareness of your flaws which is of course easier to do when you are honest and you’re going to realize that the problems in the world aren’t just coming from other people they’re coming from you the same things that you struggle to master in yourself are creating a lot of those issues and tempting as it may be to talk smack on someone else shia has learned that he’s more like the people who are unkind to him than different from them so he’s able to remain relatively non-judgmental watch people it’s really just you want to make a mark so people who are online doing the comments really just want to make a mark they want to have an effect so i think we suffer from the same thing which which is just a lack of um uh attention and love right yeah well said these moments of nonjudgmentalness mark shaya as a leader and paradoxically if you’re unwilling to completely condemn someone who’s been unkind to you it makes you someone that the entire audience is more drawn to so take someone for instance that you maybe hate or that you at least look down on when you can see that you have more in common with them than you first thought your life will change because you’ll see that in your own way even when you are doing wrong you are both doing your best and it’s not always the easiest but when you resist demonizing other people that you don’t like or joining in on a hypergrade you get branded as a leader now the last mindset to be popular without being fake is most evident in shia’s actions you might not have seen him for a while since he’s been working on lower profile indie projects in fact last year he created a theater group in one of the roughest neighborhoods in los angeles my goal is for this the goals for this is really to change theater right we tried to build a theater for people who don’t [ __ ] with theater yeah and uh if you look at like people who go to see theater now they’re old and white right yeah i’m trying to create connection between people who don’t [ __ ] with theater and people who go to theater now and and that’s what we’re trying to build this is particularly interesting because that’s not where you would expect to find someone who could be making millions of dollars in hollywood blockbusters or hanging at parties with other a-list celebrities and you expect those things of him because you know that most people move towards power for instance when you chose your career or if you’re choosing one now it’s likely to be pretty heavily influenced by how much prestige it carries or how much money you stand to make compared to the amount of passion that you feel on that topic or if that’s not the case with you perhaps you feel the urge to join the most glamorous social circle to spend time with more beautiful people and the most socially plugged in all of those things are moves towards increased power but if you pursue those things in and of themselves like shia you’re going to find out that it always doesn’t have the best outcome for you i was doing studio films for a while and lost my sensibilities and my connection to the material studio films in general when you have to make a movie for a big general audience you have to be less specific right and the less specific you are the less meat you have to chew on right the less meat you have to chew on the less interesting it is for the actor right i need the transformers i need that idea i ran from it because it was not serving me it was destroying me that’s when i was getting really drunk and [ __ ] up that was all during that time when i just felt like i was becoming soulless i couldn’t navigate myself anymore i just felt like uh like i was i was dissipating that’s not to say that you can’t connect with people who are well liked and that would just be more judgmentalness what it does mean though is that you need to shift your criteria for connection from power and prestige to humanity and quality of connection this is the critical mindset so many of us want to associate with people who can get us ahead we want to be with the coolest hottest richest most popular crowd but real long-term popularity not to mention happiness comes from focusing on the human side of connections and you see that in some of hollywood’s longest lasting stars when you focus on connection instead of power you wind up getting what you need in unexpected ways like shai did for example with zach gotsagan now zach is a co-star in peanut butter falcon and he was born with down syndrome back’s life but you said this changed your life as well yeah how was that well he’s soft for me he’s magnetic you know he became like brothers quite quick there’s no like lead time to his love it’s just instant and the volunteering and altruism that went into creating shya’s theater group actually wound up helping him tremendously and so i’m yes i’m building a theater group but i’m also building that group of people that i need in my life it’s a family while it might not be glamorous ask yourself who have you not been connecting with perhaps because you’re nervous or perhaps because they don’t offer a power advantage the service people the neighbors the stranger in the elevator if you make it a point to speak just one extra sentence to those people you’re going to find that you quickly become popular in a way that brings more happiness to you without having to compromise who you are and if you’re thinking well what’s the point of that i can’t necessarily get ahead cheyenne makes a compelling case i don’t even think it’s about quality of friends i think it’s about quantity you literally didn’t have the numbers you didn’t have the numbers that i needed we’re listening man we’re tribal creatures yeah and if you look like domestic marriages you know it’s it’s three people four people that’s not the way humans were built to live yeah we were built to have like groups of 60 70 yeah so that’s how we were that’s how we’ve survived since the caveman days and that sense of community of 50 people you love and feel close to it’s something that a lot of people today don’t have and if that’s something that you would like help with i think the fastest way to get good at meeting new people and connecting on a meaningful level is with our program charisma university it’s a step-by-step video guided program that is guaranteed to give you more charisma and confidence in 30 days now you can read all about the details in the link below but i think that the strongest way to let you know what it’s all about is just to let the members speak for themselves so here are a few of the things that our cu members have written in the first is from a guy who was interviewing for new jobs he says i interviewed at dozens of places for jobs after medical school at the end of one of my interview days the doctor pulled me aside and said that i hands down had the best interview out of everybody and they would love to have me at their program they ranked me number one and it’s my current job another person wrote about their social life saying it has been truly incredible i’ve instantly had results that seem insane so many more meaningful connections my friendships have improved and my interactions with total strangers are new exciting fulfilling thing i want to recommend this to everyone this should be in our basic education system and this last one is from someone who says that the course has been life-changing and he says your course has been life-changing to the point where i wake up in the mornings feeling like i’ve been transferred to a new person’s body the person i kept dreaming about becoming before i found charisma on command it is incredible i found myself and i found what makes me happy and you can see more success stories like these in the comments if you decide to join the course if you do so it comes with a 60 day money back guarantee which is 100 for any reason at all and i make it 60 days even though the course is only 30 because i want to make sure that every single member truly feels like they’re getting a ton of value out of the course otherwise you can just refund so if you want to check the course out go ahead click the link on screen now or below in the description we’ve had thousands of members go through this course get a ton out of it introverts extroverts men and women from all over the globe and i would love for you to do the same either way i hope that you enjoyed this video and i look forward to seeing you in the next one

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41 Comments

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  1. I’m curious how to stop from demonizing someone I’m really mad at someone who stole from me and wasn’t feeling sorry for it… stole something that was purely my long term effort and had my name on it and yet stole in a selfish and greedy way!

  2. I really have a problem with cockiness and I want to be more humble and genuine. It's not that I'll lie about my achievements but I will always one-up those around me, i think it is just an defence.

    Can you make a video about humility or if you did already let me know.
    Thank you!!!
    I know this video kinda dances around humility, but is there any more?

  3. idk why ppl hate him for the transformers movie.. I liked that movie only because of this guy.. of course movie was childish.. but he made it fun too🤷🏻‍♂️

  4. This is Shia labouef

    Shia labouef holds doors for little old ladies

    Be like Shia labouef

    Conor McGregor has entered the chat.

    Little old lady got knocked out!

    Later that night on JRE:Conor why?
    Joe rogan :Jamie pull up that KO!

  5. This video needs to be split into quotes. Shia replicas were so sharp and fast, and at the same time full of meaning and value. I feel I need this in my life. Thank you!

  6. To have "conviction" like Shia LeBouf you'd have to like him, be a member of a "marginalized" group and be both deeply narcissistic and immersed in a rich social world where that narcissism is normalized, from a young age. You'd have to be convinced that nothing in life is better than amassing "friends".

  7. If you're going to use people as examples, at least use people who aren't complete asshats. He is an Actor, a lot of these steps you're going through is probably just him acting.

  8. I remember Byron Katie's story about a Cockroach! Amazing.

    That is when she didn't have the power to change her environment so she accepted the circumstance
    and… I don't want to ruin it for you.

  9. I rush through my thoughtful convictions because everyone I talk to tries running me over with how their day went and I can barely get a word in edge wise.

  10. Interesting that you chose a controversial figure like Shia, but I've noticed most of his detractors haven't actually watched interviews with the guy, they just know him from Transformers and by his reputation or public "stunts". But in interviews he carries himself very well, guess it comes with having been a child actor.

  11. Hello,

    I came across one of your videos and ended up watching around 10 I’m subscribed and will be watching continually.

    I don’t want to sound like I’m guilt tripping or black mailing you but I’d love too have a conversation with you too see if we are as alike as I think.

    I’ve always been an outgoing person but due to certain circumstances feel I’ve lost myself somewhat and respond with anger instead of thinking logically and responding as I used too.

    I think a conversation with you for 5/10 minutes would help me a great deal and if you could find the time I would be very great full. I understand you have over 3 million subscribers so you must get this a lot.

    I would use your statement about ending an email in a giving or asking for a favour in this comment but I’m pretty sure we both know which this is 😂

    Even if you read this thank you!

    King regards

    Liam

  12. I disagree with the last point. Quality over quantity, one thing that stuck with me was a person that lived in nazi germany said I judge friends by asking myself "would they hide me?", you cant have 60 people like that.

  13. Have to disagree hard on this one. He's not like Robert Downey's jr. It isn't genuine and there are real anger issues there. Dude comes off like a dbag to me that is faking confidence, and passive aggressive.